Seaside Funeral

Tristan 29:

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 08:19:23 -0600

Panic. It consumed me all of the sudden. As Amy walked back to her house I couldn’t breathe. I laid down and tried breathing deeply but it didn’t help. I ran inside and upstairs to my room.

I grabbed the bottle of pills. My hands were shaky and they spilled all over the floor. I grabbed two of them and ran to the bathroom and swallowed them with some sink water.

I laid down on my bed drenched in sweat and my heart beating fast. I tried to calm down but it wasn’t happening. I got up and headed back outside. I ran to he ocean ripping off all of my clothes except my boxers. I dove into the ocean and began to swim.

The cold water instantly shook me back to reality. What the hell had just happened? I floated in the water thinking about what had just happened. Everything was going fine, I didn’t understand what had happened.

“Tristan!” I looked to the shore and saw Josh standing. I swam back to the shore shivering as I sat on the shoreline.

“It’s about to start pouring, what’s wrong?” I looked at Josh not having an answer.

“Well come on let’s go inside,” he said. He grabbed me helping me back into the house. He took me upstairs and laid me on my bed and threw the covers on me.

“Damn Tristan you look like a mess what’s going on?” I was still shaking bad and the panic had yet to subside.

“I-I-I d-d-don’t know,” I said. Josh sat down on the bed.

“Tristan I’m your best friend man, what’s going on?” I wasn’t lying all I know is that as soon as Amy walked away my body went into full panic mode.

“I just need some sleep,” I said, the medicine finally kicking in and causing me to begin to drift. I closed my eyes and the dream began.

“Hey Tristan,” Aaron was standing across the green pasture from me. I stood frozen. I pinched myself. This was a lucid dream. I was definitely asleep.

“Aaron are you really here?” Aaron looked down at the grass. Suddenly everything went black.

“Great it’s happening again,” he whispered. I looked up and saw a red CRASHING sign illuminated with a green STABLE sign desperately trying to revive it’s light.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I’m dying for the twentieth time.”

“What the hell? You’ve crashed twenty times?” Aaron looked at me. He nodded.

“It’s obvious we don’t have a lot of time.”

“Well that’s comforting.” Aaron managed a chuckle.

“You know I thought I’d be mad when you finally came, but the truth is I don’t blame you, I wonder why what happened did, but all in good time I guess.” I looked down trying not to have to face Aaron.

“I’m so sorry. I just let my mind loose for one second and then, well…” Aaron nodded, understanding what I meant.

“Look you are here for a reason, and luckily on my excursions through this green pasture I’ve found numerous things I have to fix.” I looked at him puzzled. He held up a book.

“I found this the other day. It’s a journal full of things to tell people when I see them, so far I’ve helped Ian and Josh, now it’s your turn and then Amy’s.” I was really confused right now.

“Let me just read what your page says and see if that helps.”

“Ok,” I said.

“Tristan will come at a time where he stuck at a junction. The junction is wether on not he should let go and move on, or continue to believe that he has satisfied his life’s goal of love. He will have panicked with no explanation, but it’s much simpler than that. Tristan needs to make a deduction. Jaquiline is gone, and Amy is here, but should he choose to hold on to a mere memory his life will become turmoil, and things will only get worse,” Aaron read.

“I don’t get it.” Aaron closed the book and looked at me reading the confusion on my face.

“Do you remember the other night when Josh attacked you, but then everything was fine, it as because this book told him to hit you. Then it said no matter how many times he did or how hard he wouldn’t feel anything, because deep down he knew it wasn’t your fault.” I sat down allowing it all to sink in.

“But I have let Jaquiline go,” I said. Aaron came and sat next to me.

“You’ve accepted the fact that she’s dead, you haven’t stopped loving her, and until you do your body will reject Amy in every way it can, because the brain is a powerful machine and it knows what your real desires are.”

“I…well I guess I haven’t really thought about that. I mean I just thought that by letting her go it was in every aspect.”

“Tristan think really hard about the face you see walking down the isle on your wedding day.”

I closed my eyes. Jaquiline was in a beautiful white gown, but as I stared more closely her skin began to fade and her face became a blur.

“I think it’s time you came down to the hospital and look at room ICU 5, it’s right next to mine. It’s a Jane Doe who was shuttled here after washing on shore in coma state.”

I woke up, panicking again. I was drenched in sweat. There was no way. It took an hour to get ready and get to the hospital. I ran my heart beating at a thousand beats a minute. I ran into the ICU area and right past Aaron in ICU 4. ICU 5 was locked but it had all glass doors and windows. The lights were off.

“Nurse! Can you let me in here please!” The nurse at the desk looked startled.

“Son no one knows who she is, do her a favor and let her sleep in peace.”

“Nurse I think I know this woman.” The nurse looked up shocked and grabbed a set of keys. She ran over and opened the door. The lights flashed on. The sound of the breathing machine and heart monitor were blasting in my ears. I looked at the woman on the bed.

“She’s had seven surgeries, been cured of a staph infection, fought off phenomena, but she’s been in a coma for almost seven months now.”

“Jaquiline,” I whispered. A tear streaming down my face.

Tristan 30:

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 18:55:59 -0500

(Jaquiline)-

Jaquiline looked up from the magazines she’d been reading in the green pastures. A young man was walking up to her. She’d seen him once before, but she couldn’t place it.

“Hello Jaquiline, it’s time,” he said holding out his hand. Jaquiline stared at his hand stuck in confusion.

“Who are you?” The boy laughed as if it must be the most obvious thing on Earth.

“I watched you graduate from your rescue swimming school with my brother and his best friend,” the boy said. Jaquiline stood up quick and hugged the boy.

“Aaron!” she shrieked as her arms flew around him. Aaron returned the embrace.

“It’s been a long time Jaquiline,” Aaron said. Jaquiline pulled back and smiled at Aaron.

“You’re so grown up, how did you get here?” Jaquiline hadn’t quite figured out this place.

“I’m in a coma just like you, but it’s time for you to wake up,” Aaron said. Jaquiline looked at Aaron and smirked.

“There’s no way I survived that fall back onto the boat,” Jaquiline said.

“You sure did. You washed up on shore and were sent here to Cateret General Hospital as a Jane Doe, and now Tristan has identified you,” Aaron said. Jaquiline lost her breath.

“That can’t be,” Jaquiline said. Aaron frowned.

“It’s a lot to take in trust me, but your next on my list to help, but there’s one condition before I walk you back to real life,” Aaron said. Jaquiline looked at him confused.

“Anything to go back, how long has it even been?” Aaron looked down.

“Only a couple of years, but Jaquiline I’m afraid when you wake up you have to do one thing.

(Tristan)-

It had been a long six hours since the nurse let me into the room with Jaquiline. I squeezed her hand every so often to see if she would wake and every time nothing happened. Her family had been contacted and were on their way down.

“It’s such a small world down here in Newport isn’t it?” Josh walked in scaring me.

“It’s just me bro calm down. Wow she looks so pale,” Josh said. I wiped the tears away from my face.

“Yeah she’s survived a lot apparently. The hospital was going to turn off her machines by court order next week, luckily her family found her or she might be dead and no one would’ve even known she was here,” I said. Josh say down next to me.

“How’d you know?” Josh said staring at Jaquiline’s face. I didn’t answer.

“It was Aaron wasn’t it?” Josh asked. I looked at him surprised. His face still concentrating on Jaquiline.

“How…”

“He came to me too, that night I attacked you on the beach, he told me not to blame you,” Josh said. I looked away back at Jaquiline.

“Yeah it was him,” I said my voice quivering. Josh let out a deep breath.

“I wonder if once he’s done with that book he’ll be able to come back,” Josh said. I looked at him ready to speak when suddenly Jaquiline coughed, gagging from the air tube down her throat.

“Nurse!” I screamed. A whole squad of doctors walked in the room. One man, a middle eastern doctor, grabbed a small flashlight and made sure Jaquiline’s eyes were dilating.

“Jaquiline my name is Dr. Mohammed. Can you tell me your full name?” Jaquiline looked pale and confused. Her eyes met mine for a second I could’ve swore she smiled.

“Jaquiline Rose Fluer,” she answered.

“Very good, can you tell me what you last remember,” the doctor asked.

“I was just accepted into the most prestigious school in the Coast Guard to become a rescue swimmer,” she paused locking eyes with me again, “Everything after that is a blur.”

I looked at her in disbelief. She was lying I could tell.

“Jaquiline do you know these men?” Dr. Mohammed was pointing at Josh and I. She studied us for a second, a look of pain crossing her face as she shook her head no.

“Jaquiline it’s me, it’s Tristan!” I said. Jaquiline just stated at me.

“I’m sorry Tristan I don’t know who you are,” Jaquiline said. I looked at her dumbfounded.

“You’re lying!” I screamed and got up grabbing her hand.

“Let go of me!” she screamed.

“Get him out of here,” Dr. Mohammed said. Josh grabbed me and took me next door to Aaron’s room. I was crying hard.

“There’s no way she can’t remember me!” I screamed.

“When someone wakes from a coma it doesn’t mean that they’ll remember the last thing, sometimes they remember everything before, it’s the brains way of ensuring that no anxiety or post trauma stress occurs. Our brain protects us,” Josh said. He’d obviously been reading up since the accident.

“It’s not fair,” I whispered through tears.

“Come on I’ll take you home,” Josh said.

(Josh)-

It took an hour to get back to the hospital to see Josh again, by then Josh had said hello to all of Jaquiline’s family as they were leaving with her to their home in Hawaii to get her better recovery at another hospital.

Before Josh could walk into Aaron’s room he heard someone whispering to him.

“Aaron you said I had to forget everything, and that one day Tristan and I will get another chance at the life we didn’t get to have, but you never told me what grave loss he’d have to endure first. I wish I could talk to you again, wake you up even. Thank you Aaron and I’m sure I’ll see you again. Since you probably won’t remember, tell Tristan Vandt I’ll always love him, and don’t worry this will be our secret until you call me on the day he needs me again,” it was Jaquiline’s voice. Josh hid on the side of the vending machine and watched Jaquiline leave with her family.

He walked into Aaron’s room and sat down grabbing Aaron’s hand.

“What are you up to little man?” he asked.

(Tristan)-

“I’m so sorry Tristan,” Amy said hugging me tightly.

“I’m glad you’re here Amy, I honestly don’t know how I’d make it through this without you, you’re such a blessing. Maybe that’s why you moved down here to be my miracle,” I said. Amy blushed and smiled holding me close.

“Amy honey could you give Tristan and I a second?” Aunt Kathy walked into the kitchen. Amy nodded and kissed me then headed out back.

“You okay champ?” she asked.

“Yeah, I should’ve known better, plus what was I thinking. I have Amy now and I don’t want to ruin that,” I said. Kathy smiled.

“It’s alright to be sad, but you have to move on kid,” she said giving me a hug.

“Sometimes it’s not holding on that’s hard, it’s letting go,” I said. She hugged me tighter.

“Amen kid, amen.”

Amy 29:

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 20:33:54 -0500

“Amy Amy Amy!” I heard Ian running down the stairs the next morning. He turned the corner at a fast pace and was suddenly sitting upon the bar stool in the kitchen. Ian’s face was beaming like it would be on Christmas morning.

“You’re super excited about today aren’t you?”

“YES! DUH!” He said the last line with emphasis.

We were going to the zoo for the first time here and I had heard it was one of the best zoo’s in the east coast. Mom and dad used to take Ian all the time to the zoo when they were still alive. He loved to go and read more about them and even draw the animals sometimes as well. He got really good and then began to do it every time he went. I hadn’t seen him drawing animals as much recently so I was hoping this would bring him back to his creative side and what was once his passion.

I was glad he was eager to go. It made me feel that this was actually going to be a great thing for him.

Pretty soon we left the house and were on our way. The zoo was filled with so many people and was super crowded, but the animals were out and about. I sat down in front of the gorilla exhibit and pulled out a notebook and pencil from my backpack. Ian sat down next to me and watched as I started to draw the ape.

“What are you doing?” Ian said with a puzzling look.

“What’s it look like? I’m drawing.” I said with confidence.

“No. If that’s drawing then I’m Brad Pitt.”

I looked down at my picture and realized how horrible it was. We both started laughing at my idea of what a gorilla looked like. Ian grabbed the pencil from my hand and then I gave him the notebook as well. He began to draw the animal and it was beautiful. You would’ve never thought that he stopped drawing.

“There” he said five minutes later. “That’s what you calling drawing.”

A random woman was behind us. “That is a wonderful drawing kid. You really have a knack for that.”

“Thanks!” Ian smiled at her and was proud of himself.

“Did you ever think about entering something into a contest? I work for a school for creative artistic children like yourself and we are hosting a competition in three weeks. I really think you should enter a piece or two. Here’s my card.” She handed him a business card with her information on it.

“Oh wow, thank you!” I said to her. “What was your name?”

“I’m Victoria Blakenship. And you are… his wonderful mother?” She inquired.

“hahaha, no this is my brother. I’m Amy and this is Ian. We will definitely be in touch with you.”

“Take care and have a wonderful time Amy and Ian.” Victoria walked away calling a little girl, who I assumed was her daughter to follow her.

“Ian! Did that just happen?” His face was still glowing and in shock.

“I… I think so!”

We continued walking through the entire park and Ian drew every single animal we saw. When we got home we went into the house and as we ate dinner I decided to ask him about the woman we met today.

“So do you want to enter in that competition?” I inquired.

“It sounds like a fun opportunity. I just don’t know.”

“It’s worth a shot.” I replied. “You are very good.”

“I think I’m going to combine some of the animals in one picture and send that in. I never thought about doing this, ever and that would be amazing to get something recognized.”

“So?”

“Alright, yeah, I’m going to do it!” Ian finished up the last bite of dinner and ran off to his room to get started on his art piece.

Lynn pulled up an hour later from her shift at work.

“Amy, I’m so glad to hear you had a great time with Tristan the other night. I think he’s true to what he says, but I found out something today at the hospital.”

“What’s up Lynn?”

“Well, the other day we had a Jane Doe come into the ICU. Today I found out that Tristan actually knows her, it’s Jaquiline.”

I dropped my glass on the floor and it shattered into pieces.

“I thought she passed away.” My heart was beating at warp speed.

“Apparently she’s still with us. Tristan was the one who identified her and was there last night. She’s still in a coma though.”

I couldn’t say anything. My mind was thinking everything, but nothing was coming out.

“I’m sorry, but I had to tell you.” Lynn said with remorse.

“Thanks.” I replied.

Amy 28:

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 23:44:03 -0500

The rock led me to the campfire; next to the campfire was a log that had another riddle on it which led me to the fridge. On the fridge was a magnet “The birds and the bees, true love is all you need. Your mom is a blessing to me. In the night, by only starlight, we’d say our prayers and sleep.”

I walked over and searched under the bed, then under the mattress. It was there I found his letter.

Oliver:

To my dearest daughter Amy,

I wanted to make sure you were ready and an adult before I gave you the inside scoop on true love. Not the hokey stuff you see in the films, but the kind you can’t make up or mistake it. This is the story of how your mom and I met.

It was the eve of October 12^th, 1985. I met your mother at a friend’s party, and I thought she was gorgeous. She was and is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. She was sweet and charismatic. Her confidence beamed like a light from her soul and her personality overflowed into the room. The second I laid eyes on her I knew I had to make her mine. I pursued her for some time after that, even though she was going after some other guy who wasn’t right for her at all. He was a jerk, and I knew he was dating other women as well as your mom. He didn’t deserve her. I finally put my foot down one day and asked her out. (Technically I gave her no choice). I wanted to wow her and sweep her off her feet, and that’s exactly what I did. We only dated for about four months, but I got down on one knee on the one year of meeting her and proposed. That was one of the happiest moments of my life. Then we were married that December.

Amy, what I really want you to know is to be sure of who you get involved with. True love is something you don’t have to worry about. When you have found that person you’re meant to be with it will seem like the easiest thing and decision you’ve ever made in your life. You won’t feel like you are tied down with the burden of having a relationship, but quite the opposite. Amy you will feel a sense of freedom and comfort you never even dreamed of. When I finally dated your mom, I didn’t even recognize I was in a relationship because it was that simple. It wasn’t complex at all, I just knew. She got me to talk to her as if she was one of my old childhood friends. I told her secrets not even my best friends knew, but she did. I felt like I could be myself and that she wouldn’t pressure me to be perfect. She loved my imperfections as well. Trust me honey, I’ve done some wrong in my life and I couldn’t even imagine that a woman so amazing like your mother would ever take a chance on me, but she did. I don’t know why, but I am the luckiest man alive.

So Amy, don’t settle for what works. Don’t fall for the cheap tricks some guy is bound to play one day. Don’t fall for the boy who just wants to romanticize you but not love you or give you his heart. If you have to force something to work, it will break apart eventually. Love is like a puzzle piece. It should be as simple as setting the piece in its spot. If you have to push hard to make it work then he’s not the guy for you. Toss that piece aside and move on! I can’t wait for the day when I get to walk you down the aisle towards the man who fits perfectly into the puzzle of your heart.

I love you always and forever my little baby girl.

Oliver Franklin Robertson.

Amy:

I knew that I had to start letting some walls down if I was ever going to be able to let someone I care about into my life. With Tristan though it was different, I felt like I had no walls. Just being with him and spending time together he had taken those walls away. I felt comfortable with him; I wasn’t trying to be something I’m not. He allowed me to be myself around him whether I was in a good mood, or a bad mood, he seemed to not care either way and accept me for me. This feeling was weird, but I liked it. I’m not perfect, and he didn’t force me to be or have any expectations of me. So this is what dad was talking about in his letter I found on the island last week with Ian. These feelings were true and natural and something so beautiful. I was too afraid to admit to it, especially so soon, but I’m pretty sure this is what real, true, unconditional love was all about.

“Amy!” Lynn hollered upstairs at me from the kitchen.

I folded the letter of my dad’s that I was making a comparison too, shoved it in the top drawer of my dresser, and hurried down to the ground floor.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I’m going to go have dinner with Clayton tonight so I’m about to leave. Do you and Ian need anything on the way home?” She offered graciously.

“No I think we’re good. Where’s he taking you tonight?” I asked with a wink.

“I don’t know, it’s a surprise.”

“Well you’re going to have fun anyway because that’s just who you are.”

“And I’ll be with him.” She replied.

“True beans.” We both giggled together at my funny phrase I’ve used for years now.

After Lynn left Ian and I sat down and watched an episode of one of our favorite shows on TV. Then there was a knock on the door.

“Hey Tristan!” I smiled.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Hey beautiful. I was wondering if you and Ian would like to come have dinner with me and Kathy tonight. She’s making steaks!”

A free dinner, and a cute guy, how could I say no?

“Sounds good. You want to go Ian?” I turned to ask his opinion and realized he had already shut the TV off and was at my side.

“Yes!” Ian took off running towards Tristan’s house.

Dinner was lovely and delicious as always complete with mashed potatoes, beans, green beans, and cornbread. I loved southern home-style cooking and Kathy was always amazing at it.

After a few rounds of gin-rummy Kathy went up to bed.

“Goodnight you crazy kids, I’m going to go get some sleep.” She kissed us all on the forehead and went upstairs.

Ian was passed out on the couch all snuggled up in a blanket Tristan had draped over him.

“Let’s go outside.” He suggested.

“Ok”. I said.

I could see down on the beach by the lighthouse there was a blanket and a candle lit. Tristan led me down there, our hands intertwined. As we got closer I noticed there were two plates with cheesecake on them, only the best desert ever, and a wine bottle with two glasses.

“Tristan what is this?”

“This is for you. I wanted to just do something nice and special for you. I hope you like it”. He smiled sweetly at me.

“I do! How did you know cheesecake was my favorite?” I questioned as I sat down under the stars and moonlight.

“I just knew.” He sat down next to me and kissed me ever so lightly on the lips. It left me wanting more but I didn’t want to spoil it by going too fast. So I grinned like a fool instead.

We spent that night talking about things that mattered, and things that didn’t. What was important about that night was that we just enjoyed each other’s company. I found myself so welcomed and at peace in his presence that I never wanted to leave, but when it came time to go home I didn’t get sad like I would’ve with my past relationships. I was so secure in my feelings with him it was easy to go home and rest knowing that he was all mine, and I was his.

Tristan 28:

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 00:25:58 -0500

“You really should go try and talk to her,” Josh was throwing a ball with Koda on the beach. I was sitting at the piano just playing a never ending melody.

“Josh I’ll do it when I’m ready to.”

“The longer you wait the harder it gets bro.” Clayton was sitting with Lynn in the hammock they were holding hands.

“Thank you Clayton.”

“Tristan he’s only trying to help. Amy told me last night that she just couldn’t believe that it was literally the last person connected to her parents,” Lynn offered.

“If that was supposed to make me feel better it didn’t. She probably thinks I’m some kind of omen,” I said.

“No I just don’t understand why you have such an impact on my life when I’ve only known you a couple of months,” Amy came from behind.

“Amy!”

“That’s all you have to say?” My face was flushed.

“No, I guess I should apologize,” I offered she sat down next to me.

“I’m not mad at you Tristan Vandt, I’m a little confused with God, but I’m not mad at you.”

“Josh! You’re not going to believe who Tristan killed! Where’s Aaron we have to tell him!” Ian was running along the shore carrying my manuscript.

Josh’s face turned blank, no one had told Ian about the coma.

“Hey bud!” Josh said as Ian ran up and flowed through their secret handshake.

“Get Aaron! This is huge news he won’t want to miss this!” Ian exclaimed. There was a silence in the air.

“Ian lets go for a walk.” Josh grabbed his hand.

“Josh I can do it, I just hadn’t gotten around to it,” Amy stood up.

“Amy if it’s alright with you I’d rather be the one.” Amy nodded watching the two fade into the distance.

“I think he’d be more hurt if it was Josh, but none the less I’m sure he’ll come back wanting to go and see Aaron.” I grabbed Amy into a hug as she started to tear at what she was saying.

“Please no more tears, Aaron doesn’t want that,” I said.

“Yeah we all seriously need to just relax and have a good time,” Lynn chimed in. Amy wiped her eyes and laid her head on my shoulder.

“So are y’all dating now?” Clayton asked.

“I could ask you the same question,” Amy countered. Clayton laughed as the back door opened.

“Hey y’all I’m going down to the hospital, anyone want to come?” Kathy popped her head out.

“We do!” Ian was back. Josh nodded in agreement.

“He wants to read Aaron the next chapter,” Josh said.

“Alright Ian and Josh lets go then,” Kathy said. Ian gave Amy a hug and walked inside with Josh.

“Those two have a connection,” Lynn said.

“I know it’s crazy,” Amy replied.

“It’s cute though,” Lynn said. Amy smiled softly.

“He’s not like that with anyone else, I don’t know why it happened but Josh is like a role model to him. Months ago I never would’ve imagined that my little brother would be best friends with Josh, all things considered. It’s really just crazy,” Amy said.

“Well it’s been a summer full of craziness,” I said. Everyone laughed.

“Feels like the world just keeps shrinking, I honestly wonder what’s coming next everyday,” Amy said. I nodded in agreement.

“No kidding,” Lynn said giving Clayton a kiss on the lips.

“Hey you two, there are rooms for a reason,” Amy teased. Lynn and Clayton laughed. They got up and headed inside.

“Do you believe in destiny?” Amy asked as the back door closed.

“Define destiny,” I countered. Amy looked down at the piano keys.

“Like the knowledge that no matter what obstacles came in your way you would end up with someone for sure,” Amy clarified.

“You mean that two people will end up together no matter what, even when it seems impossible?” I asked making sure I understood.

“Exactly,” Amy said. I grabbed her face and pulled her into a kiss. When I pulled away she was blushing.

“Does that answer your question?” I ask. Amy smiles.

“Tristan, I was wondering if we should take this to the next stage?” Amy asked.

“Like dating?” I asked. Amy nodded.

“If it’s what you want,” I offered. Amy looked into my eyes.

“I want to know everything about you, even the things you’ve sworn into secrecy. I feel like the only way I’ll be able to do that is if we date,” she said. I looked out out to the sea.

“It’s crazy…”

“What is Tristan?”

“It’s crazy that this is happening. After almost dying its like the puzzle pieces are falling into place.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jaquiline.”

“What about her Tristan?” Amy wore a look of confusion.

“By agreeing to go out with you it’s the closure that I need. It’s a scary thought and a scary position to be in.” Amy put her arms around me.

“She’s gone Tristan, and the longer you hold on the longer you’ll be alone.”

“I know she’s gone, it’s just I never thought I would be the one giving the closure, seems like its a job for the dead.” Amy smiled.

“Trust me closure is one for the living,” she said. I smiled and faced her.

“I would be honored to date you Amy,” I said. We kissed and that was that.

Amy 27:

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 00:08:00 -0500

It wasn’t enough that he had completely ignored me today, then I get awoken to screaming outside and now I find out that he has killed my last adult link to my parents. I had just started to get to know Eddy and there were so many questions I wanted to ask him about my dad. I thought Tristan was different. I felt such an instant connection with him and felt as if he and I shared something special. Apparently he was just like other guys. I was sick of men who hid everything and didn’t communicate well. A relationships main ability to stay alive and thriving is due to how well the two people communicate with one another. If he wasn’t going to talk to me about what keeps happening with him then I can’t do this with him. I thought we were meant to be, I guess he just feels like he can’t trust me.

Luckily during this whole ordeal Ian stayed asleep. I didn’t want him to hear about this at all. I watched the group of people muster about outside. Then all of the sudden I saw Lynn bolting towards the door. I tried to stabilize myself for a verbal beat down.

“AMY MARIE ROBERTSON!” I tried to shush her down so she wouldn’t wake Ian. “How in the world could you react like that? This is Tristan we’re talking about, you just ran away from the situation like a little girl!” She was screaming in my face.

I got up and tried to walk away. She pulled me back down.

“AMY!” My head was spinning.

“WHAT?!” I yelled back.

“Re-evaluate your attitude and actions.” She demanded.

“You don’t understand! Eddy was the last person left to tell me about my father. He showed me something and I felt my parent’s presence. Now he’s gone!” I slammed myself back down on the couch.

“I’m sorry Amy, I didn’t know.”

“NO, you didn’t. I hadn’t gotten the chance to tell you about it yet. I know it wasn’t Tristan’s fault but, its just like fate is coming for me and the devil is out on the attack.”

Lynn put her arm around me and cradled me tight.

“I just need to do my own thing. I love Tristan, but I’m going to have to take a few days to myself to get over this and make sure I don’t have any hard feelings towards him about it. That’s the only reason I’m so upset right now, because he’s the only one I can put the blame on.” I tensed up while trying to hold back the tears.

“Then go Amy. I’ll stay here and watch the house, I’ll even watch Ian if you need me too. You do what you think is best for you.” Lynn gave me a smile.

“I think I need to take Ian with me. We need to go spend some bonding time. I know just the place.” I ran upstairs and packed my things and then packed Ian’s.

Early the next morning Ian and I left without saying goodbye to anyone and went to spend some days where I wanted to be most right now.

“Amy?” Ian asked. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise honey, you’ll see.” Was my only response.

We made our way down the road and then through town. I stopped at the local market to buy some quick food supplies and sodas for the next three or four days. Then we were back on the road flying down towards the forest area. Finally, we had arrived at our destination, Amy Island.

This was the place where I could rest, and rediscover myself. It was so soothing here with the memories of my parents dancing in my head. I could picture dad making breakfast for my mom and them eating out on the little deck that he had made with his own bare hands.

I wanted to find out more, believe that true love actually did exist, and just explore the depth of my parents relationship when they were young. Here on this trip I vowed to change myself for the better and figure out my feelings.

Was Tristan really the man of my dreams or am I just compensating for having been treated like trash by Gavin? How should I change things to be a better friend to Lynn, and our neighbors, and a better sister to Ian. I knew dad always liked to play games, and if this was now my island, he sure would have it filled with games and clues of things he wants me to figure out. I was bound and determined to dive into that right now.

We used to play board games, card games, and the like. Unfortunately that’s not the kind of games I’m talking about. He also used to train my mind with word games, and teasers and riddles. It was going to be one of those but on a bigger scale. This was going to be a scavenger hunt and it wasn’t going to be easy.

“You’re a brilliant young woman and I’m not going to let you take the easy way out” He used to say to me when we’d play games like this before. He always wanted me to learn and to push myself so I would be challenged in many ways.

I began to walk around the island in search of clues and different markings on rocks. It was then when I found a tree with my parent’s initials on it from before they were married. The heart that surrounded their name was drawn on really crooked though, it was then I realized it was pointing to a rock. Underneath the rock was a riddle written in sharpie. This was the first clue.

“Give me your worst dad” I looked up into the clear blue sky and smiled.

These games held the answer to questions unanswered still, and I was going to try to dominate them all.

Tristan 27:

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 01:52:33 -0500

Aaron-

It was black. No one around, no sounds, just blackness. Aaron was lying down on his back. He sat up.

“Hello?” No one answered. His voice trailed off rather quickly in fact absorbed by the blackness.

“Hello!” He tried again. A desperate plea with yet again no answer. Aaron got up and started to run, but no matter how fast he ran, nor how far, the blackness never ended. He fell to his knees tears pouring his face. It all suddenly came back to him.

The car crash, and then Josh slamming into him causing his head to collide with with the window with such a force that the memory ended. Was he dead?

No there was no way this could not be heaven. At least he hoped it wasn’t, but it didn’t seem to be hell either. Aaron sat down and as he did a sign appeared. Red lights lit up the word “CRASHING.”

What did that mean? He sat and watched the sign for five minutes as the green word next to it sparked trying to come to life, just like a person who was being shocked back to life. Finally after three attempts the green light turned on “STABLE.”

The blackness faded and was replaced by a blue sky and a green pasture that went on for as far as Aaron could see. In the sky the green word stayed lit. That’s when it hit Aaron. He was in a coma.

“This can’t be happening.” He sat down in the lush green grass allowing himself to calm down as the panic surges through him.

As he sat down everything went black and the red word lit up again. “CRASHING.” Aaron desperately tried to catch his breath but it was difficult. After five minutes he felt back in control. The “STABLE” green light back on and the sky and green pastures back.

“Ok note to self, no panicking.” He started to walk the green pastures. He wasn’t heading anywhere in particular, just walking.

Suddenly the pasture faded and he was in the back seat of an escalade with Kathy at the wheel and josh as the passenger. They were dressed for some sort of formal event.

“Kathy! Josh!” Aaron screamed, but they couldn’t hear him. He watched as the two talked and laughed before suddenly Kathy seemed to pass out and the car lights from a blue suv came slamming into the car with a deadly force. Josh screamed, but right before impact the blackness was back along with its friend “CRASHING.”

Aaron took a breath and after three minutes and several failed spark ups the word “STABLE” illuminated once again. What was going on here? Was he seeing the future or was he just remembering the events differently?

Suddenly Aaron was under water. “CRASHING.” Aaron was swimming desperately to the surface when he noticed Tristan.

Tristan was not conscious and was drowning in the sea. Aaron swam desperately to Tristan and pulled his hand. Then he disappeared. “STABLE.”

Tristan-

It was as if an angel had touched me. Suddenly I was conscious again. As I opened my eyes I saw Aaron for just a second and then I blinked and he was gone. I swam for the surface with all my might. When I broke I was gasping for air.

“Tristan?!?” It was Lynn’s voice. She ran out into the ocean followed by someone who looked like Clayton and they both started swimming.

Once they had me on the shore laying down I closed my eyes.

“Tristan what the hell!” Lynn shrieked. I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t want to say anything, but I knew I had to.

“We went out to eat, and we drank. I was driving and my mind was just somewhere else we crashed and Aaron…Aaron…” Lynn grabbed my hand as I trailed off.

“What happened Tristan?” she asked her voice filled with horror.

“He’s in a coma,” Lynn began to cry.

“It’s not your fault Tristan, it could’ve happened to anyone,” Lynn said rubbing my hand with hers.

“It could’ve happened to anyone. Tristan open your eyes and look at me. Now! Sit up!” I opened my eyes and sat up slowly. Lynn grabbed me into a hug. It caught me off guard. Tears just started to fall.

“Now you listen to me, and you listen well. You were driving, but you didn’t know what was going to happen. Stop blaming yourself. This is God’s plan, and it may seem so unclear as to what he’s up to right now, but give Him some time,” Lynn whispered into my ear.

“Lynn?” Amy walked over to the scene. “Tristan! Are you okay?” Amy ran up and sat down next to me.
Lynn let go and her hands were replaced by Amy’s. Amy held me close and tight. My tears still falling.

“What happened Tristan?” I couldn’t answer.

“There was an accident, Aaron is in a coma,” Lynn answered. Amy looked horrified and sad.

“Are Kathy and Josh okay?” Amy whispered. I nodded a yes. Amy stroked my head softly.

“Who did you hit?” Amy asked. I pulled out of her embrace.

“The man who was at your home earlier, his truck just came out of nowhere…” Amy looked at me as I spoke. Every word her face looking more and more horrified.

“Oh my God, no. Seriously this cannot be happening. Of all the people that you could’ve hit. I just don’t understand.” Amy said. I looked down at the sand, everything was in ruins and there was nobody else to blame except for me. Amy walked back to the house.

“Amy! Amy! Get back here!” Lynn called after her. Amy hesitated turned her head crying and whispered, “I can’t.”

I fell back onto the ground and closed my eyes again. Tears were falling like crazy. I heard footsteps running towards us. Josh picked me up and right hooked me. I stumbled on the ground, more confused than dazed. He came at me again.

“Josh stop!” Lynn screamed. I blocked his punch and grabbed him into a hug. He tried so hard to get out, but he started crying and hugged me back.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“It’s not you fault,” Josh said. I let go of him and we both sat down on the shore. My jaw burning.

“Lynn and Clayton would you mind giving us some privacy?” Josh asked. Lynn and Clayton nodded and walked inside Kathy’s house.

“It’s my fault,” Josh said. I didn’t look at him.

“It’s not anyone’s fault…”

“I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt Tristan! I smashed his head into the window with my full body weight,” Josh snapped.

“If I hadn’t crashed it wouldn’t have mattered that you weren’t wearing your seatbelt,” I said. Josh started to cry again.

“I just can’t believe he’s in a coma. Do you know how long those can last…I’m speechless,” Josh said.

“They told us the ocean was a cruel place to be, they forgot to tell us land was two times the terror of the sea,” I said.

Amy 26:

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 20:28:00 -0500

“I just can’t believe he took off like that.” I sat down on the couch next to Lynn. She had just gotten home from work and Ian was still outside dancing around the fire.

“So you have no idea why he was running around out there?” She questioned.

“No, none at all. He just looked at me and then took off. It was almost as if he didn’t even know me. I mean we’re a couple now, he should be able to tell me anything. That look on his face was unforgettable.” I took in a deep breath and sighed to release some tension I could feel building up in my shoulders. “His eyes were so sad, and scared all at the same time. He could hardly look at me, but that one look he did give me, I felt it go straight through my soul.”

“I’m sure he’ll explain it to you, he’s just a man though. They deal with things differently and a lot of the time they have to have their space. They just need to go think.”

“Lynn I don’t even think it’s anything with me, I hope not anyways. I think something bad happened with Kathy. I haven’t seen anyone come home next door all night. Where are they?”

“Amy, I’m sure everything is alright. This isn’t your family though. You need to focus on you and Ian and take care of each other. Tristan will come around, like he always does, but in the mean time try to relax okay?” Lynn gave me a big hug.

“Alright, I’ll try. I’m going to outside and call Ian in for bed.”

“Okay, Goodnight Amy.” Lynn called out to me. Then I took Ian inside after putting out the fire, put him to bed and went off to get some sleep as well.

*Lynn*

After Ian and Amy had gone to bed I was able to sit and think about things. I still couldn’t shake off the memory that had been stirred up so recently. Maybe walking would help my mind release of these thoughts.

As the wind and tide blew the waves up against the shore my feet were becoming encrusted with sand. I saw a figure with a flashlight and a dog walking along the beach as well and they were coming my way.

“Hey Lynn” I stepped back, “it’s me, Clayton.”

“Oh hey! Sorry, I couldn’t recognize you in the dark.” He must have just gotten back from his two week training camp because I hadn’t seen him since the big welcome home party we had for Tristan.

“It’s all good, just taking Koda here out for a walk. No one is home which is a bit odd, so I figured this little rascal needed to go outside and get some fresh air. I just got back from my two week session in Florida.“ Clayton announced.

Wow, funny how fate works. I want to go for a walk to get Clayton and that whole deal out of my head and he shows up right in front of me. Almost like an easy button telling me to just get it over with and approach him about it.

The full, bright moon illuminated the sky and the water mirrored it’s beauty. I looked up into Clayton’s face. His features were still as they were when he and I had first fallen in love. His smooth, rounded, lips. Those soft, delicate eyes complimented his tan skin on his comforting, strong, face. I knew I had to do this quick before I lost the nerve.

“Hey, I actually need to talk to you about something.” I started to stammer out the words to what could be the best or worst talk of my life.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Clayton sat down in the sand and I followed his motion.

“Well, I… I… just wanted to say that, after this time, I still love you Clayton.” I looked straight into his eyes.

“I still love you too, but I always thought you didn’t. You never wrote me back, I tried to contact you, nothing. I thought I had done something wrong. I’m used to being the type of guy that messes everything up anyways. I just thought you had realized that I wasn’t good enough for you or something so I threw all my effort into my job.” He let out a sigh as if he had been holding all that in for a very, long time. “But… why did you do it? Why did you just run away from us if you still loved me?”

This was the question I had been preparing all night for. There were no right words to tell him. So I handed him the sonogram picture.

“So you cheated with me, got pregnant with someone else’s kid, and then decided to not even tell me anything?!” Clayton got up with anger and started to walk away.

“Clayton!” I yelled while running after him to stop him from going any further. “I did not cheat on you. This was your child, our child.”

He turned back around with a confused look on his face. “From just that one night?”

“Yeah, I was too afraid to tell you while you were working and I didn’t want to bother you with it.” I continued on.

“Well, where is he, or she?” Clayton walked back towards me.

“That’s the thing. I was going to tell you the day you got back, but before that day had come I had fallen. It was a bad fall and I lost the baby. I felt awful and depressed and couldn’t hardly look at myself in the morning. There was no way that I was going to be able to tell you, so I decided the best thing to do was to push you away. As far as I could so that you would never know that I killed our kid.” Tears started streaming down my face and my head sunk into my hands.

I felt Clayton put his hands on mine and move them from my face. He gently wiped the tears from my face and caressed my face in his palms. Then as I looked up at him he gave me a delicate, sweet, kiss on the lips. He smiled.

“I would have never been mad at you. I love you, always have and always will. I just wished you would’ve told me. We would’ve probably been married by this point!” He chuckled in amusement.

“So, you’re really alright?” I questioned.

“Yes.” He kissed me again and hugged me securely. “I’m glad that you finally told me. I would have loved the baby as well, even with my busy job, I would’ve been happy to have a child with you. You are the greatest woman I have ever met. You, Lynn, are strong, courageous, intelligent, gifted, whimsical, spirited.. I can’t even begin to describe you because the list would never end.”

I just stood there in shock and continued to smile at him. Our fingers intertwined as we began to rekindle our love again, at last!

“Would you be my girlfriend again? I sure have missed you.” He looked at me longingly.

“Of course. I’ve missed you too my love. I know I didn’t get to say this at the party years ago so, welcome home.”

We stayed out there for another few hours just talking, making up for lost time. This was right where I needed to be, this was true love blossoming and all the stars in the night were there twinkling brightly witnessing it.

Tristan 26:

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 07:55:24 -0500

Josh-

The ambulance sped along Mill Creek road to the hospital. Aaron laid on the stretcher unconscious. Josh’s mind was a blur. All he remembered was looking out the window at the sea and smiling about how everything in life was going so great for a change and then Kathy screamed.

Josh didn’t have time to react he went flying to the opposite side of the back seat slamming into Aaron with a bone crushing force. Josh had glass scrapes and blood all over his arms and legs.

Tristan was stable with nothing but some minor bruises. Kathy was the same, just a little shook up. Aaron however was in a coma. The impact his head had against the window had knocked him out.

“We are here,” the ambulance driver said. It took an hour to get Aaron in an ICU room and hooked up to a life machine.

“Are you his guardian?” A woman asked. She was Indian, skinny and very attractive.

“His brother Josh actually,” Josh answered.

“My name is Dr. Fuji. I am the head of neurology here in this hospital. Your brother is in a coma, and he’s lost a lot of blood. He is an organ donor and has minimal brain activity. Now the activity can pick back up, but it’s not guaranteed. We need to know if you want him resuscitated or not,” Dr. Fuji explained.

Josh’s head started to swirl. Kathy came up running.

“What’s going on, how is he, who are you?” Kathy was looking at Josh, as tears began to fall from his eyes.

“They want to know if we want to sign a DNR,” Josh said. Kathy looked at Aaron in the bed. His facial injuries had been taken care of, but he was barely alive. In fact with the amount of brain activity he was holding on by a thread.

“No we aren’t going to sign that. This boy is a fighter. You resuscitate him whenever he crashes,” Kathy said firmly. Dr. Fuji nodded politely.

“Ma’am at this stage of a coma this severe the chances of survival start small and get smaller as every day passes,” Kathy looked down to the ground as Dr. Fuji said this.

“I know as a doctor there’s an agenda to get organs that are healthy to know when it’s time for a reality check and know when it’s time to let go, but never does a doctor put themselves in the shoes of the patient. Keep him hooked up and when he codes you had better do everything you can to save him,” Kathy said just as Tristan came running down the hallway.

Tristan-

This could not be happening. Things like this didn’t just happen, it wasn’t possible. Where had the truck from? It all had happened so fast.

The man was dead, and Aaron was in a coma and it was my fault. The guilt was consuming me. I felt nauseous in my stomach. It was in knots. I was having the worst panic attack.

“Tristan are you ok?” Josh asked. I fell to the floor.

“Sir are you ok?” Dr. Fuji asked.

“I need Klonopin or something now!” I said.

“Nurse get my five milligrams of Ativan stat!” Dr. Fuji screamed. The nurse left and came back after three minutes with a pill. I took it dry and after five minutes the attack subsided.

“How is he?” I asked while looking at the floor.

“He’s in a pretty severe coma,” Dr. Fuji answered. Josh was over holding Aaron’s hand and crying. I walked to the opposite side and grabbed Aaron’s hand.

“Aaron I am so sorry,” I whispered, tears building in my eyes. As I squeezed his hand a machine began to ring. A blue light in the room started flashing and his pulse went flat.

“Code blue in ICU three I need a crash cart now!” Dr. Fuji screamed.

“Charge! Clear!,” Aaron’s body popped up and then down on the bed. His pulse had returned.

“Normal sinus rhythm,” Dr. Fuji said relieved.

I backed away out of the room and ran. Out of the hospital and just kept running. It was three hours before I was so worn out that I couldn’t run any longer.

I had made it to Mill Creek Road. I sat on the side panting and crying. As I say a blue ford escape drove by. It was Amy’s car. She slammed on the brakes as her headlights flashed over me.

“Tristan! Are you ok?” Amy asked running towards me. I just got up and started running again. Amy ran with me.

“Tristan!” she screamed before stopping and watching me run out of sight. I just ran and ran nothing was fueling me except pure adrenaline. It was another two hours before I was at the driveway of Kathy’s house.

I ran towards the shore and fell in the water and just started swimming and swimming before my body could not take anymore. It gave in and I began to sink under the water.

I deserve this, I deserve to drown. I deserve death for what I did. I should’ve known better. What a fool.

Tristan 25:

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 07:52:24 -0500

(Kathy)-

“Remission,” Kathy whispered. The doctor looked at her, his smiling not fading. Kathy felt like she was going to pass out.

“You mean it’s gone?” The doctor started to laugh.

“We did it Kathy. We beat it, the scans are all clean. There’s not a single trace of it anywhere in your body,” the doctor pulled the scan and handed them to Kathy. Kathy grabbed them and stared at a cancer free image.

“Lung cancer is terminal usually though,” Kathy protested.

“Some people get lucky, we don’t know why, but they do. You just happened to be one of those people,” the doctor was trying to comfort Kathy. Kathy allowed it to sink in and started to cry.

“I don’t even know what to say. Do I say thank you? What do people say at this point?” Kathy sobbed. The doctor let out a soft chuckle.

“At this point they’re just ready to get out and go live their lives cancer free,” the doctor answered. Kathy started laughing.

“Now we still have to do the occasional scans every month for six months and then every three months after, but hopefully it’s gone for good. We also recommend one last round of chemo and a transfusion to ensure all the particles are gone,” the doctor said. Kathy nodded, she never imagined being normal again. The happiness consumer her.

After some routine paperwork and a final round of chemo Kathy headed home. She was exhausted but her excitement kept her moving. She just couldn’t wait to get home and tell Tristan.

(Tristan)-

I lay in my bed just staring at the ceiling last night had been a lot of fun. I kept thinking back to the lighthouse and Amy. I had taken her to the top and allowed her to turn on the light.

“Wow this is honestly amazing,” she said. I looked down. She noticed something was wrong.

“Tristan?”

“It’s just that every time after a mission I couldn’t wait to see the light just spin and spin, knowing I’d made it home again. It just is a beacon of hope for me honestly,” I said.

“Do you ever wonder what if nothing bad ever happened?” Amy asked.

“Without suffering there can’t be any happiness,” I said staring into her eyes.

“Those who suffer might disagree.”

“Only as they grew impatient thinking they’d been forgotten,” Amy looked surprised by my counter.

“You can only be so patient,” she whispered.

“That’s what people who are experiencing a patience test say.”

“Well I admit defeat Tristan Vandt,” she smirked.

“Those who suffer and wait patiently with their faith receive happiness that seemed for so long impossible, it’s just a test to see if you can be patient and keep faith,” Amy’s eyes filled with tears as I finished.

“It’s hope I’ve lose not faith.”

“What were you hoping for?” Amy looked into my eyes.

“The pain to go away,” she said. I staggered for a second.

“But again without suffering how can there be happiness?” Amy smiled and laughed.

“I know, I know.”

“Sometimes Amy the happiness we try so hard to find is right in front of our own eyes,” I said. Amy looked down at the beach smiling.

“That’s true but sometimes it just seems too good to be true.” I don’t know what she meant by that but we didn’t say anything else we just sat and stared at the ocean.

Eventually Amy got up and left. I stayed up and laid down on the lighthouse just contemplating my life.
Back in my bedroom last night seemed to answer a lot of questions about my feelings. I heard the front door open. Kathy was back from the hospital. I couldn’t bear to hear any bad news, not when I was in such a good mood so I decided to not go downstairs.

I heard footsteps approaching my room and then the door opened. Kathy stood her eyes filled with tears and a big smile on her face.

“No,” I whispered in complete and utter disbelief.

“Yes!” I jumped up and hugged her. She was free from her suffering. I couldn’t believe it.

“Are they sure?”

“Well they want to do one month follow ups for the next six months, but yes the doctor said it’s gone,” Aunt Kathy sobbed. I hugged her again just holding onto living proof that God works in the most mysterious ways.

“Kathy this is great news! I’m so happy for you!” My excitement filled my voice.

“I just can’t believe it. I thought it was the end of the road for me,” she said.

“You never lost hope or faith though, and that’s what I admire most about you,” I said.

“How about dinner at the new Yacht Seafood Diner,” I suggested. Kathy cried and nodded yes.

“I’m going to go tell your brothers,” Kathy said. She waked out of the room. I walked back to my bed as I did I noticed an older man walk up to Amy’s house. I figured it was nobody harmful, so I just laid down on my bed. Koda got up and laid down with his head on my chest.

“Hey Koda, Aunt Kathy is better, can you believe it boy?” I asked. Koda yawned his tongue sticking out.

“Silly dog,” I said. Koda closed his eyes and started drifting off to sleep. Outside I heard a car engine start. I got up and looked out the window. Amy and Ian were driving off with the man from earlier. I wondered where they were going. I’m sure I’d find out sooner or later.

“Tristan, hurry up and get ready,” Kathy called from downstairs.

“Ok,” I checked the time on my phone. Six fifteen at night. Shouldn’t be too crowded. I put on a pair of swimming trunks and a white beater. I walked downstairs. The rest of the gang also had their swimming attire on. It was time for dinner.

“Did you invite Amy?” Kathy asked.

“No tonight is about you, not her,” I answered. Kathy gave me a hug.

“Thanks, for everything,” she was crying softly again.

“No worries,” I got into the driver’s seat of the Escalade and drove to the restaurant. When we got there the hostess greeted us with a warm smile.

“How many?”

“Four,” Kathy answered.

“Right this way,” she said. The restaurant was built on a giant yacht and you sat in a heated pool that had a bar that ran along the outside of it. It was Kathy and my favorite place.

Dinner went by fast, but by the end, and after five victory shots we headed home. What a day. Kathy was going to make it after all. I was just so happy.

“TRISTAN!” Kathy screamed I came back to the real world and slammed into a white truck. The impact was hard and Aaron and Josh went flying in the back. The escalade rolled and rolled. It landed back on its tires.

After everything processed I got out and walked over to the truck I hit. The man inside was familiar, he was the man I saw at Amy’s house earlier. I checked his pulse. My eyes filled with tears. What had I just done? There was no beating, he was dead.

Amy 25:

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 23:00:30 -0500

“You’re who?” I asked again. The man just stood there and looked at me for a moment.

“My name is Eddy, I’m here to inspect the damage from the fire and finish out the adjustment claim for you from your insurance company.”

“Oh yeah, now I remember.” The past two weeks had been so long I almost nearly forgot about the side of my house being burned.

I let the man walk into my house and directed him towards the area.

“Oh wow, someone really did do a number on this one.” He chuckled to himself as if this was a laughing matter.

“Yeah, it was done while I was gone and it was arson.”

“Let me go call the company right fast and print out some numbers to show you.” He walked out to his car and returned a few moment s later.

“Well apparently since this was arson and since your coverage is pretty good, we are going to cover for about three fourths of the damage.”

“Wonderful!” My heart filled with joy to hear that. “So how much will that be?”

“About six thousand dollars.” He printed a check outside in his van and then brought it back to me.

“Wow, you have a lovely family.” He inspected the pictures on the wall that memaw and papaw had left on there.

“Thank you, they are all very near and dear to my heart.”

“Wait, who… is that? Is that Oliver Robertson?” Immediately my heart stopped and a cold shiver ran down my spine.

“Yes, yeah that’s him.” I replied.

“Why do you ask? Did you know him?”

“Know him? I grew up with the guy! Small world, where’s he at now? What’s he doing?”

Apparently this guy had not been too close to my father in the past year. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he passed away roughly six months ago. He and his wife both.” I began to feel myself tense up, but there were no tears coming like I had expected. Good, I’m getting better.

“Oh, oh dear. That is a shame. He was an amazing man.”

“That he was.” I smiled.

“Wait then, are you little Amy?!”

“Yeah, I guess. Not so little anymore but yeah.”

“Wow you have grown up! I met you when you were just two years old. Such a cute little girl you were and now you are a beautiful young woman.” He stated.

“So how did you meet my father?” I began to ask all of the many questions that were floating in my head.

“Your father and I met during boot camp and were in the same unit throughout all of our campaigns and trainings.”

“Oh wow.”

“He was the bravest, strongest, down to earth man I’ve ever met. He spoke very eloquently and was always one for calling me out when I was doing something stupid.”

“Yeah, he was pretty great.” I could hear my phone beeping in the other room reminding me that I had gotten a text earlier I hadn’t checked but I decided to get it later.

“There was this one time when I had gotten the dumb idea to graffiti my Lieutenants cabin because he had totally humiliated me and pushed me too far during drills. As I went out during the middle of the night and snuck around to his cabin your father woke up and realized I was gone. He knew exactly how mad I was earlier that day and immediately thought that I was going to retaliation. I was about to start painting the side of the building and your father came up out of nowhere and pushed me down on the ground. Good thing he did because I was unaware that the Lieutenant was doing a night drill with a group of new recruits. Your dad put his hand over my mouth and hid us up against the side of the cabin.”

“Haha he sure saved you.” I exclaimed.

“Yeah, I later figured out that if I had gotten caught that night I would’ve been dismissed from my services. Also the irony of it all was that my Lieutenant was getting transferred to the West Coast to do some training at a new Academy built there. So I almost risked what was my entire life at the time for just a minuscule prank.” He looked so tranquil as he reminisced about the good old days.

“So may I ask you then how come you haven’t talked to him in awhile? I mean if y’all were such good friends you would’ve known about his accident right?” I wanted to get down to this issue because something just didn’t seem to add up.

“Well, we had kept up on things and would communicate a few times throughout the year. Then I got sent on a campaign to Southern Asia and was trapped as a POW for a few years.” His mannerisms turned at this point and I knew this was not a subject would should discuss for too long.

“Oh my goodness!” I stated. “I’m glad you’re okay, and that does explain why I haven’t ever heard about you or met you. I’m sure my dad just felt it too heartbreaking to talk about you.”

“He talked about you Amy all the time; you were his pride and joy. Actually there’s something I need to show you. Where’s your brother? He needs to see this as well.” Eddy got up and started walking towards the front door.

As I got into my car with Ian to follow Eddy I took a quick glance at my phone. It was a text from Lynn. Looked like she was pulling a double shift tonight. She worked too hard.

On the way over I explained who Eddy was to Ian, and took note of which direction we were going. We went about ten miles past the main pier. This brought us to a dirt road that was in the wooded areas. We parked our cars.

“It’s only a ten minute walk through here.” Eddy said. I was a little nervous about this guy, but something told me to keep going.

We ended up at this peninsula with a little motor boat tied to a small dock. Across the water there was a small island.

“That’s where we’re going.” Eddy said as he pointed.

“What is it?” Ian asked.

“Amy Island.” replied Eddy.

Finally we arrived at the island. “So this is my island?”

“Yeah, your dad had me take care of it after he bought it because he knew I’d be living here for the rest of my life when I wasn’t away for duty. He bought this place when he was just twenty two and kept it secret from everyone. I remember one day he and I were sitting with our feet in the water drinking beer and just relaxing. He told me that he was going to name this place after his first child and give it to them when they turned twenty two because that’s the same age when he first got it.” Eddy explained.

“Then why wasn’t it in the will?” I questioned.

“He didn’t want anybody to fight over it and made me the care taker and guardian. I figure you’re close enough to twenty-two that you should have it now.”

He handed me a piece of paper that was in a bottle near the well built island hut in the middle of a circle of trees. It was a signed document by my father verifying everything that Eddy had just told me and Ian.

The hut was beautiful with a giant living room area, multiple bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen area. I was speechless and in awe. Lynn needed to hear about this, or maybe not if it was supposed to be kept secret.

“Ian, don’t tell anyone about this place. If dad wanted to keep it secret, we should too.” We gave each other a pinkie swear and nodded in agreement.

We went back to the mainland after exploring for a bit because Eddy had to get back to work.

“Thank you, for everything and taking care of it. You’ve done well!” I smiled at Eddy.

“You’re welcome Amy. Now if you ever need anything just give me a call. I also took an oath to protect you and your family. Your father was the brother I never got so his family is my family.”

He drove off and I was still amazed at the fact that I own an island.

“Come on Ian, let’s get home. Lynn should be coming home from work right about now.”

“Amy, can we have a fire tonight and celebrate?” Ian asked.

“Of course, we can do anything you want”

Amy 24:

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 14:33:30 -0500

I was not expecting that kiss, but as he laid his lips on mine it was as if nothing else mattered anymore, it was just Tristan and I. There was an energy shared between us. With his hand in mine, everything seemed right, everything seemed perfect. His hand gently caressed mine, lacing our fingers together. It sent a flame of energy burning up the side or my arm, then immediately raced all the way down to my feet tingling my toes. My heart was beating fast and there was nothing I could do about it, nor did I want to do anything about it. I really didn’t think we had this strong of a connection. Of course I always though he was attractive and had some wonderful qualities, but apparently there was something more there. I had never felt like this. It was so infectious and immediate I almost considered running off in fear, but I liked it too much so I decided against that idea. No, I was going to just play it cool. There was no rush, I just enjoyed being in his presence and was comforted by the fact that he felt something for me as well.

We rounded the corner back to his house. He was talking to me about his childhood and memories he had of his mom while I in turn shared memories about my parents as well. What was once a painful part of our lives, talking about it with one another made it better. I truly felt like my parents were still there in spirit and that they had really come to Tristan to help me deal with my insecurities.

“You okay with going into the Lion’s den hand-in-hand?” Tristan asked with a wink.

“I’m always up for a challenge!” I grinned back.

Lynn and Zack were outside on the back patio. “Well I’ll be darned!” Lynn shouted and then squeeled like a fourteen year old girl. “Finally! Took you long enough to make a move Tristan the turtle.”

“I’m going to ignore you said that.” Tristan said.

“Calm down Lynn,” I said to my friend who was bouncing up and down.

“Hey, I’m just happy for you guys.” She smiled.

Ian came out with a snack tray and set it down on the table. “Praise Jesus!” He called out to the Heavens.

Everyone bursts out in laughter.

“Well I’m glad you approve, I think.” Tristan patted Ian on the back.

“Of course I do! I’ve been rooting for you all along.” Ian then walked over to the chair I was sitting in and whispered in my ear. “This one’s a keeper.”

I laughed and Tristan asked me what he said. “Nothing, just a little joke between us.”

Tristan went inside to help Kathy prepare dinner for the big welcome home/thank you heroes party we were having for Tristan and the boys. Zack and Lynn went for a short walk and during that time Josh and Aaron arrived back from the store with some more supplies we needed and Clayton soon followed after them in through the door. I sat outside and observed the interaction between Lynn and Zack. I knew he liked her, but judging by the way they were interacting I don’t think that she wanted to be in any sort of a relationship with him. Josh walked outside to join me with a couple glasses of strawberry lemonade Kathy had made.

“Who is that down there with Lynn?” Josh asked with some concern.

“This guy we met on our trip to Myrtle Beach and whom she hung out with. He apparently is related to those people y’all saved last week, the son and brother of them. His name is Zack.” I explained.

“Oh,” was his only response. He watched them closely with his eyes like a hawks and would cast them aside whenever one of them looked our way. Lynn then gave Zack a hug and they made their way back to the patio.

“Hey man, I just wanted to come by personally and tell you thank you for saving my family’s lives. I don’t know what I would do without them you know bro?” Zack had poor eloquence when speaking but he always got the idea across.

“Zack this is Josh and Josh this is Zack,” Lynn tried to formally introduce them.

“Nice to meet you,” Zack stated with a firm handshake.

“You as well,” Josh replied, no emotion on his face whatsoever.

“Well I can’t stay for this party. I need to go, but thanks again for everything. Y’all totally rock,” there comes his surfer boy dialect again. He kissed Lynn on the cheek and wished her well.

“What was all that about down there?” I immediately questioned Lynn as she sat down to join us at the table.

“Oh nothing.” She quickly said trying to jump onto some other topic. “How are you doing Josh?”

“Pretty good.” He said. “Aaron and I just got back from the grocery store and we got the remaining items on Kathy’s list.”

“You’re going to tell me later right?” I whispered to Lynn.

“Yes, but let’s just drop it right now.” She replied. “I’m so excited for this party, it’s going to be fun! I’ve brought over a few games.”

“Cool,” Josh said. “This is going to be a good time.”

“Josh can you please come help me move some furniture around for Kathy so she can set up the buffet?” I heard Tristan yell to Josh from the kitchen window.

“Yeah, be right there.” He called back and then walked inside.

“So what the heck happened?” I instantly asked as Lynn. Aaron came outside to turn on the lights, set up, and decorate the tables.

“Well, Zack told me that he really liked me. He found out that once I left that day, he recognized it was not just a fun time, but that he missed me.” She explained.

“So what did you tell him?”

“I told him that although I had fun with him, I didn’t feel the same way back about him. That it would be best if we stayed friends because I am interested in someone else.”

“Who?!” I exclaimed.

She looked around. “I can’t tell you right now.” She whispered.

“Do I know him?”

She nodded her head yes.

I couldn’t wait till we got home so we could talk about this.

A few minutes later we all gathered in the kitchen for prayer and then dug into all the glorious food that Kathy had prepared for us. It was delicious. There was macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, fruit, salad, steak, pasta, hotdogs, hamburgers, everything amazing was there.

After we played games, and then had desert. Josh decided to make a toast to Tristan before we got our sweets.

“To Tristan, the bravest guy I’ve ever met. Even though he has had trouble in the past, he still does what is right even if it puts him in danger. He’s a wonderful friend, nephew, and brother. I thank God that he was left on this Earth to do great works and continue to save people. Although we were scared when you were out, we are so glad that you are still here with us and welcome you back home. We all love you and are so proud with how far you have come getting over your panic disorders. God has great plans for you and we will all be here for you supporting you and being here for you no matter what. To Tristan!”

The night continued on and eventually we all gathered around the fire. Tristan walked over to where I was sitting.

“Come with me.” He whispered. “I have something to show you.”

He then took me by the hand, and led me down the beach towards the lighthouse.

Tristan 1:

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 23:25:11 -0500

“Tristan! Do you want some lunch!” Aunt Kathy was right on time with her lunch cue. Twelve o’ one on the dot and never a second later.

“Yeah I’m on my way down,” I call back. She responds with an okay. I climb out of bed and put down my latest piece of work. Writing was never something I expected to do, but I had become semi-successful with it. After being honorably discharged from the Coast Guard it was all I had. I walked over to my dresser and picked up a bottle of yellow pills, I took one out and put it in my pocket to take it with my lunch. At twenty-two it seemed ridiculous that I’d hit my mid-life crisis, but being a rescue swimmer can have an impact on you physically and mentally. I wish I could’ve saved her. I shook the memory out of my head.

I looked into the mirror on the dresser. My hair was buzz cut and my skin a tanned white. I was losing some of my muscle from my lack of working out, but the definition was definitely still there as was the tattoo on my right arm. “Jaquiline: The one who got away.” Again I shook the traumatizing memory from my head. I walked towards the door glimpsing out the window as I did and noticed a woman and a small boy standing outside of the house next door. No one had lived there in five years since the old couple passed. The woman was staring at the house she looked sad and I could tell she had come from far away. The young boy looked full of energy. Their vehicle was full of boxes.

“Tristan! Hurry up!” Aunt Kathy screamed. I drew my attention away from the window and walked out of my room and down a small spiral staircase that led to another small door. I opened it and walked across the top of the book case that aligned the library’s walls until I got to the ladder and climbed down. The library door was open so I walked out and downstairs into the kitchen.

Aunt Kathy had prepared my favorite meal a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich with Cape Cod salt and vinegar kettle cooked chips and Pepsi in a glass. I took a seat on one of the bar stools behind the island. Aunt Kathy joined me. From where we sat behind the island we faced the sink which had an enormous window that looked out to the sea. My Aunt Kathy’s house was built on her own small little peninsula in Newport, North Carolina. It was a town of just houses. The nearest anything was in Motörhead city which was quite the drive, luckily a small grocery shop and gas station had opened up a few miles down Mill Creek Road. My aunt’s house was the only house on Indian Shores Court so she had turned the road into a gravel driveway and put a gate at the end. She had a mansion that most people would kill for.

“Your mother called again today she wanted to know how you were holding up,” Aunt Kathy said as she took a sip of her iced tea.

“Are you sure it was about me and not you?” I asked. Aunt Kathy hated when I countered her questions.

“I have cancer. I’ll be fine, it’s nothing compared to your panic disorder. You screamed in your sleep again. Called her name. You’re having more panic attacks now then ever,” Aunt Kathy said softly. I hated when she told me about the screaming. It always brought me back to that mission.

“I saw a woman and a little boy over at the Robertson’s old house,” I said changing the subject.

“Well I’ll be damned to see anyone clean up that mess of a house. In the five years since they’ve passed bless their souls that house looks like a dump. Sad part is it would sell for over two million if someone would clean it up.” Aunt Kathy replied.

“Well they looked like they were moving in,” I said. Aunt Kathy laughed.

“Well may God help her clean. Was she cute?” Another one of Aunt Kathy’s favorite things finding me a soul mate.

“I saw her from the window in my room,” I said avoiding a yes or a no. To be honest I couldn’t quite make out her face.

“Well at any rate you should be a gentleman and go help her clean some of that dump up,” Aunt Kathy pushed.

“No thank you, the last thing I need is to be away from you should you pass out again,” I said. She scoffed.

“I pass out one time and your mother sends you down here to watch me. I swear my younger sister is a pest,” Aunt Kathy says.

“She’s your twin, younger by three minutes,” I said.

“The key words being younger,” Aunt Kathy hooted. Aunt Kathy and mom were both forty-two but they looked younger, and with Aunt Kathy’s personality added in you would think maybe early thirties, late twenties. She had brown flowing hair and hazel eyes. I had gotten the brown hair from my mom’s side but my eyes were a royal blue that I assume are from Dad, but I never knew him so I couldn’t be sure. A college one night fling and then nine months later there I was.

“Do you need me to take you to chemo today?” I ask. Aunt Kathy gazes out the window and stares at the calm sea for a second before nodding yes. I grab my empty plate and she hands me hers. The are disposable so I just toss them and then grab and rinse the cups before loading them into the empty dishwasher.

“You know we should go out to the beach and have a campfire like we used to on weekends you would visit,” Aunt Kathy said. I chuckled as I remembered our outrageous camp fires. Me, mom and Aunt Kathy sitting around roasting marshmallows and telling scary stories that ended up making us laugh rather than be scared.

“How about tonight it’s Saturday and I have no plans in the near future,” I joke. Aunt Kathy manages a laugh.

“Yeah we will need to stop by the grocery store on our way back from…” a slight hesitation and then, “my appointment.”

“Ok. Too bad they haven’t gotten their liquor license yet,” I said.

“Yes liquor and anxiety and cancer sounds like a good threesome,” Aunt Kathy jokes. She’s right though neither of us is to be drinking at all. What has my life become?

“Ok well it’s almost twelve thirty so I’m going to grab the keys while you grab whatever you need and lets get going then,” I say. Aunt Kathy nods. I walk over to the back door and grab the keys to my red two thousand and ten Jeep Wrangler. It could hold four people and I had taken the doors and the hard cover off because I liked feeling the cool North Carolina air. Summer had just started so the air would be nice, as would the smell of the sea. I walk to the four car garage and start up the Jeep. Aunt Kathy comes out several minutes later and we back out. I turn the car around and head for the gate closing the garage behind us. As I approach the gate I shift the manual Jeep into neutral allowing it to slowly roll while the black metal gate swings open.

“I hate when you do that,” again right on cue. I laugh and Aunt Kathy gives me a soft punch on my arm. We turn right onto Mill Creek Road. We pass the house to the left of Aunt Kathy’s. It had just a short drive way right off of the road and a chain fence that had been opened. Again I see the woman this time she is hugging the little boy and probably crying.

“You weren’t joking,” Aunt Kathy says as we pass the house. The drive to Carteret General Hospital was a good thirty minute drive and Aunt Kathy was usually quiet. Once we got to the hospital the chemo took about an hour and then we headed to the Mill Creek Small Grocery & Gas. It took Aunt Kathy all of five minutes to go in buy marshmallows, graham crackers, and Hershey’s chocolate bars. We drove home again passing the old house. This time only the car in the driveway and some lights on in the house.

“Surprised the bulbs still work,” Aunt Kathy says. I laugh as we pull onto Indian Shores Court. I pull the Jeep into the garage and walk inside.

“I’m going to lay down,” Aunt Kathy says.

“I’ll be upstairs writing then,” I say. Aunt Kathy nods.

“Dinner at six thirty sharp.” she says and I say okay. Her bed room is on the first floor. As I begin my climb up the stairs I hear the vomiting start. It makes me cringe every time. I couldn’t believe it when Mom had told me she had been diagnosed. I remember thinking not Aunt Kathy, but she had been. For six months now and the chemo was helping. Mom flew me down from Alaska to live with her after the hospital called saying she had passed out while driving and gotten into a pretty serious wreck. Aunt Kathy was hesitant but I’ve been here two months already and it’s home for all intents and purposes.

When I get to my room I turn on the light as some clouds had come in. I look out and see through my window the woman again. She is staring out at the open sea. The wind blows her hair furiously. Then the little boy runs out with something in his hand the two start laughing and head inside. I decide to take a nap rather than write. My fans, the few they are, can wait to see what happens in the next book in The Solar War series until later. I grab my iPhone and set an alarm for six fifteen and six twenty. Don’t want to be late for dinner I think as I close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep almost instantly.

Amy 1:

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 23:24:55 -0500

This was it, the day had finally come. Times were changing fast and I was hoping this would be the last major event in my life for awhile, and my brothers as well.

I pulled up to the rugged old beach house around lunch time. The building was at least forty years old and had been vacant for the past five years since my grandparents died. When I was a child I spent some time here with them during the summers and after their passing I couldn’t even think to come back so soon, until now. So here I was staring into the review mirror of my past. The old green paint peeling off the side of the house now had some red graffiti on it. Mi-maws bird bath out front stood completely covered with moss and ivy, and paw-paws garden that made him famous in this town was now overgrown with so many weeds it resembled a graveyard. I hesitated for a moment collecting my thoughts and brushing away the memories from what was once my life, the good part of it anyways.

As I drove my 2002 blue Ford Escape into the driveway it came to a screeching halt as I put it in park. My brother Ian looked around questionably then turned to me and said “This is it?”

“Yes Ian, we’re here”, I replied. “It doesn’t look like much, but this place was once the most beautiful place I had ever known”. Trying to comfort him I realized I was also trying to comfort myself. In the back of my mind I was aware of how much work needed to be done and that things were going to be hard, but I had to do it. At this point in time there was no other option.

Apparently tragedy follows this family like a lost puppy, always making its way back into our lives. Our grandparents had both passed quite some time ago and neither one of our parents had brothers or sisters. I had never thought that I would be a twenty-one year old college student who ultimately became the soul caretaker of my 8 year old brother. It’s hard to believe that just six short months ago our parents had a horrible accident in which had both passed away that day. I lost my identity, dropped out of school, and was haunted by memories of them everywhere I looked. Last month I realized there needed to be a change.

I stepped out of the car and took in a deep breath. I smelt the salty breeze that blew off the ocean, just like how I remembered it. As I stood there staring at the beaten down ramshackle edifice that stood in front of me I could almost hear voices from my past. Laughter, kids voices calling out, the dinner bell ringing, those were good times.

The only place I remembered where I was ever happy was here at my grandparents place. Since they knew that I loved coming there so much, they left it to me in their will for when I was old enough to have it. My parents had never liked the place but they kept up payments on it for me.

Now getting my life back in order I figured it would be the perfect place to start over with my sweet brother so he could have the best childhood I could provide for him.

Ian hopped out of the car and looked around.

“Amy, this place is disgusting. You’re going to have a lot of work to do!” he said with his cute cerulean blue eyes sparkling in the North Carolina sunlight.

“No, we are going to have some work to do.” I smiled back at him. “Let’s get the happy meals out of the car and we’ll have a picnic out on the front porch!”

“Okay!” Ian said.

As we sat and listened to the sounds about us I kept thinking about how much work had to be done on this place and although it was intimidating, I felt like this was the right thing to do.

“Thanks Amy for the lunch, I love my toy!” Ian Squealed.

“You’re welcome, but now we have to get down to work!” I told him.

Ian took off running after his little red jeep toy that rolled off the porch and into the yard. He yelled for me to come look at the tree by which the car landed.

“Look, who’s initials are those in the tree?” He asked me.

O and L Robertson. I knew, mom and dad. Oliver and Luanne Robertson.

“Those are mom and dads initials, when they first got married they wrote it here in this tree so it would last forever.” I could tell by the look in his face that got to him, he was deep in his thoughts and was going to cry.

“Amy I’m scared. I’m afraid about not having any friends and being in a new place. I want mom and dad back! I miss them. I want her warm embrace and his confident smile that everything is going to be okay.” He managed to let out as he ran over to me.

I hugged him tight trying to hold back my own tears but it was relentless.

“I know honey, I know. I promise you though I won’t leave you and you and I will have so much fun here! We’ll make tons of new friends together, go play on the beach, camp out, whatever you want! We’re going to be okay.”

“You… *Sniff* mean it?” He asked while the last tear rolled down his cheek.

“Yes, I do. Now let’s have some fun and get to unpacking! The truck will be here tomorrow and I need your help! I’m putting you to work my little soldier! Can I count on you?” I squinted at him and said with a drill sergeant voice.

“Yes Ma’am!” He saluted me and ran towards the house.

“Come get a box at least!” I shouted after him.

A few hours later my car was free of boxes and suitcases. I had cleaned up a few of the rooms, the most important ones, and rid them of cobwebs and other nasty insects. I went out back to see what all was back there, I remember my grandparents used to have a sail boat out there.

As I walked outside I saw the boat upside-down. The mast was broken, the wood was rotted, and it had become yet another thing overgrown with weeds. I walked down to the sea shore that was covered in varies shells of shapes and sizes. I could hear Ian calling from the house. As I turned I saw him running out towards me. He had something shiny in his hands.

“What is it Ian?” I asked him.

“I think it’s a necklace or something, but look it has you’re name on the back!” He explained.

As I took a deeper look at it he was right. It was my locket from when I was 14. The engraving on the back was written many years ago. I opened it up and looked the picture inside. It was me from that age, my hair a wild, curly mess and dirt on my face. I showed it to Ian and we both started laughing instantaneously.

“Amy, that’s you? Wow you were scary!” He said with his scaredy-cat face.

“oh yeah? Well you should see me now!” I said as I lunged toward him with my tickling fingers.

“NO!” Ian shrieked as he sprinted back to the house.

“Get cleaned up” I yelled, “It’s almost time for dinner. Then off to bed for you, you horrible little kid.” He was sweet, upbeat, and had my heart. The only family I had left and he had me wrapped around his finger. I was proud to be his sister and I was not going to let him down. Things were changing, but I finally felt a slight sense of peace, and optimism.

Tristan 2:

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 23:24:36 -0500

As soon as my eyes closed the dream started. The same dream I’ve had since it happened. The dream about Jaquiline. The chopper’s sounds were completely drowned out by the rain pounding on its hard exterior. The rotor blades desperately trying to stay airborne. I was sitting on the jumping zone gear on and ready to go.

“Five minutes out Vandt!” The pilot has to scream into his head piece just to be heard over the storm.

“Copy that,” I answer. We are headed to the scene of a party boat that got caught up in the hurricane. Some kids on spring break vacation had decided to stay out despite the ominous and dark storm clouds threatening to tear them apart. If there’s one thing they taught you in the Coast Guard it was never challenge the sea, because it’ll always win.

“Ship in sight!” The pilot screams. I look out the door where the chopper’s beam light is reflecting a small boat with four lives desperately clinging onto it.

“I’m going down!” I scream.

“May Poseidon guard you son,” the pilot says. I jumped my feet stretched out in front of me. I landed hard and broke surface seconds later. I patted my head with my right hand signaling I was ok and started to swim towards the boat. I reached the boat and clung to the side as the storm tossed it relentlessly. I pulled myself onto the dock and saw life one. Female with red hair.

“Help!!!” she screamed.

“Ma’am I’m a Coast Guard rescue swimmer how many are you?” I ask. She’s crying now. I motion for the chopper to drop the carrier.

“There was seven of us but some of them just, I don’t know the waves just, it just took them,” she sobs. I grab the rails and put my arms around her. The carrier takes thirty precious seconds to come down. I load life one in first as she goes up a wave crashes into the ship and life two, blonde male, comes flying at me. I grab the rail hard with my left hand and brace my right arm to catch the guy. He hits me with more force than I had anticipated. It takes all of my strength not to lose grip with my left hand. Life two was unconscious. I moved him into my left arm and grabbed a flash light from my right pocket and used it to check his pupil dilation. He responded. The carrier was back I loaded him and he began to rise.

I searched around and found life three on the opposite side of the deck. I had to use the rail to go all the way around which took a minute of time that I didn’t really have. Life three was female with black hair with red highlights.

“Ma’am my name is Tristan Vandt and I’m a coast guard rescue swimmer. Are you hurt?” I asked.

“Get me the hell off his boat Tristan,” she said and punched me on my arm. It took all of three seconds for my brain to place the voice and the face.

“Jaquiline!” I screamed. She smiled as we both held onto the boat with all our might.

“Yes! I’m the last the body back there is dead. Flag pole through his chest,” she said. I looked up to see where the carrier was. I noticed the pilot was having a hard time getting to the opposite side.

“Vandt I have to recall and try approaching from another angle, can you hold on for a few more seconds?” the pilot asks.

“Damn you Vickson you owe me dinner,” I answer. He laughs.

“So you decide to come down to and visit some friends with your leave time?” I ask. Jaquiline had been in my training class to become a rescue swimmer we went neck and neck in the class to be the best. I’d always liked her, and I felt the feeling was mutual, but I never could manage to puck up the courage to ask her out.

“Yeah, saw the clouds but the wind told me the storm was going across the horizon and not towards us. I chose to fight the sea and you know what Commander Kline was right it always wins. Poseidon is one ugly son of a bitch,” she answers. A wave crashed into the boat with an ugly force I lose grip and Jaquiline manages to catch my arm and help me back onto the rail.

“You owe me dinner now,” Jaqueline says smiling.

“How much longer Vickson I have Fluer down here!” I say into the head piece.

“What the hell is Jaquiline doing out here?” he asks. The chopper is being pushed by the wind. A wave crashes onto the tail portion and for a second I panic thinking the chopper was going to go down. It doesn’t.

“Wow that was a close one. Jaquiline pissed off Poseidon,” Vickson says. I can hear the panic dissolving from his voice.

“Dammit I can’t get this chopper to move you’re going to have to come to the carrier and hurry I only have two minutes of fuel,” Vickson says. Now my adrenaline was surging the carrier was being dropped back across the deck. The storm was only getting stronger there was no way we had that kind of time.

“Jaquiline we have to go to the other side. Get in front of me,” I scream over the storm. I allow her to pass. We make it to the other side and both grab onto the carrier.

“Pull us up!” I yell. The carrier starts to lift. A wave crashes into the boat this time the mast is torn off and hits the carrier cable side ways. Jaquiline falls off back onto the dock.

“Jaquiline! Vickson lower me!!! Lower me right now you bastard!” It’s the hardest decision any rescue pilot has to make. Whether or not they can risk losing all on board or just one. The minority always loses. Jaquiline hits the deck hard and slams into the front of the boat. The chopper begins to head for land. The last thing I see is her stretching out her hand weakly, a hand begging to be grabbed.

“Vickson no!!!!” I scream and scream until I’m on board. The boat is now nothing but an ant size blur in the massive sea.

“Another chopper is already on route,” Vickson says. I cry for the third time in my life.

I wake up to the sound of misery business by Paramore screeching in my ears. I slide the screen to make it stop. I can already smell dinner in my room.

“Time to eat,” I say to myself. Outside it’s pitch black and the house next door has but a single light on and a boy playing in a room with what looked like a little red toy jeep.

“Tristan come and eat!” Aunt Kathy beckons.

“En route,” I say and head out of my room.

Amy 2:

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 23:24:13 -0500

As I cleaned up after dinner, luckily I had packed some sandwiches and chips for the trip; I started to feel the effects of such a long, hard day.

“Ian, it’s been a rough day. I think you should get ready to go to bed.” I told my brother.

“But AMYYYYY” he whined, “I’m not tired!”

“Alright, you can play in your room for one more hour and then to bed ok?” I bargained.

“YAY!” Ian pushed back his chair from the table and ran upstairs to his new room. It was a quaint little room and the first one I cleaned up so it would be usable. Although the moving truck wouldn’t come till tomorrow with the big items, I had put his superman sleeping bag down for him.

I walked up the stairs and passed by Ian playing in his room. He was busy in his own little world with that little red jeep again. I guess he really liked it. I continued on down the hallway and saw the door to the attic. Who knows what’s up there? I decided to check it out.

After grabbing a flashlight from one of the boxes I pulled down the stairs from the attic and climbed up. Push the cobwebs out of the way I saw all of my grandparent’s old things. My parents had come here after they passed away and put most of their items here and covered the big furniture pieces with cloth. So many mystical things I remembered seeing. As I walked through the antiques, I ran my fingers over the dust covered items such as jewelry, photo reels, and ma-maws beautiful, fancy, sun dresses. I opened a box marked photos. Inside there were old pictures of my grandparents from when they first got married. They were happy and so in love. I had always hoped that when I found love it would be resemble what they had. Unfortunately I had not been able to really experience that yet.

Sifting through the box I stumbled upon another box. Inside were pictures from when I was younger when I used to come here. There was one of me on the beach, all soaked in salt water and spotted with sand. The waves were beautiful, the sun shining bright, and various people in the background enjoying the day like I was. A boy building a sand castle and lovers walking hand in hand, it was a great day.

Then I moved away another box and found a box marked Oliver and Luanne. I really didn’t know if I should open it or not, but I figured I’d have to go through it eventually. I slowly breathed in and then out as I lifted the lid. Inside were some souvenirs from my parents wedding, a bubble bottle, napkin, dried flowers, photos, and the lace veil. Somewhere in this attic was my mom’s dress that went with it. I felt the lace and examined the beading. I put the veil on my head and danced around the floor. My mom taught me how to dance and my dad and I would dance every Saturday night till I was 16. As I continued to drift deeper into the past my mind hit that place again, that horrible dark place that I had been trying get rid of for the past 6 months. Here it came again, and it wasn’t in a wave like it usually was. No, this time is was a Tsunami…

*Ring**RING*… “Hello?” I said as I picked up the phone. It was the day after thanksgiving. My family and I had a wonderful day full of our usual traditions and celebrations. I loved being with them, we were such a tight knit group. Today was my parent’s anniversary. Those two love birds had been married for 24 years now and as a surprise my father took my mom on a secret get away for the whole day. He brought her breakfast in bed, took her out on a walk through the vineyards complete with lunch, and then took her on a helicopter ride to see the beautiful mountain ranges and valleys near our home in Colorado. I was so excited when my father let me in on the plan because I knew how much my mom would enjoy it.

“Is this Amy Robertson?” the man on the phone asked.

“Yes” I replied, “who is this?”

“This is Officer Bradley. I’m sorry to have to call you, but I have some bad news… your parents had an accident.” The man said softly.

My heart raced a million beats per minute. “What?”

“They’re here in the hospital and they’re not in good condition. The doctor doesn’t think they’re going to make it. You should get down here.” Officer Bradley stated.

I called Ian to the car and rushed over to the hospital. “How did this happen?” I asked.

“On their helicopter ride things were going well but they reached a spot where the wind current had changed due to a storm. The pilot had everything under control until he had a stroke. Even though your father had been in the Military Service, but he wasn’t confident flying the copter. Your mother called us to let us know what was going on and to prepare us for their landing. Then a flash of lightening hit the propeller and the helicopter started to fall out of the sky quickly towards the mountain tops below. That was the last we heard from your mom before the phone call died. The rescue team found the copter in pieces and your parents thrown from it.” He could see the tears streaming down my face and paused for a moment. Then he put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. “They’re not going to make it Amy, I’m sorry” He gestured toward the door where my parents were taking their last final few breaths.

“Mom? …. Dad?…” I managed to let out. Their bodies so mutilated it was unrecognizable. Who were these two people that were in front of me? These were not my parents.

“Amy?” I hear the one on the left gasp out my name.

“Mom?” I slowly walked over to my moms side.

“Amy, take care of Ian. We love you both so much and it’s going to be okay. I had a good time today. You’re the best daughter I could have ever imagined and you’re going to do great things. Continue to be strong and tell Ian we love him. It’s going to be alright. God will take care of you.” My mom tried to smile but her face was so torn up it was hardly noticeable.

“Amy, I’m so sorry honey to leave all this on you. I didn’t think… I didn’t think this would happen. “ My dad choked out

“It’s not your fault dad. Please don’t leave me, I need you both. I don’t know how I can do this without you all. I’m only 21! Please God, Please don’t take my parents from me. I’ll do anything! PLEASE!!!” I shrieked out.

“Amy, you have to be strong and let us go. We’ll always be with you in your heart. I love you sweetie.” My dad said as his voice drew out and got quieter.

“I won’t be alone Amy, I have your father. Will you please move my bed closer to his?” Mom muttered to me.

With tears streaming down my face like bullets now I granted my mom’s wish for her. She moved her arm over to my dad’s bed and grabbed his hand. “I love you Oliver, see you on the other side”. My mom turned her head towards my father as her heart beat began to slow.

“Deal… I Love… you… Luanne” My father’s voice lingered in the cold tile floored room.

With their eyes both closed I sat there in between their beds and held their broken, scratched up hands. I couldn’t believe this was happening, this couldn’t be real. They’d be okay. Just then I hear my dad’s heart monitor flat line. Two seconds later, my mom’s did the same. My dad was always like that, taking the first step before my mom to let her know it was safe and okay to come. He was chivalrous. I busted out into tears as the nurses and doctors ran into the room. Officer Bradley escorted me out of the room, me kicking and screaming.

“AMY!” Ian’s yell from downstairs jolted me back into the present and out of my living nightmare. “There’s a big spider! Please come kill it”

I wiped the tears away from my cheeks and took in a deep breath. I hope one day these memories would go away, apparently it won’t be soon enough.

“Coming!” I called back and put the veil back and the boxes in order then climbed out of the attic.

Tristan 3:

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 23:23:53 -0500

“Eat up,” Aunt Kathy says. She’s made her famous spaghetti and meatballs with broccoli. We ate in silence mostly. The light house next to our house was flashing a beacon of hope to any stranded or lost boats in the vast and cruel ocean. After dinner I help Aunt Kathy clean the kitchen.

“That has been the worst round of chemo yet,” she says. I never know how to respond to her remarks about the cancer.

“Why is that?” I ask.

“Never thrown up so many times. I was starving by the time dinner finally came,” she answers with a laugh. I chuckle, aunt Kathy never was one for feeling sorry for herself. I think I admired that most about her. The fact that no matter how many hits she took she just kept on going, like nothing could stop her. It’s what gave me hope about her beating the cancer.

“I’ll finish up here, go and get that fire started,” Aunt Kathy says and gives me a hug. I walk out the back door and down to coast on the left hand side of Aunt Kathy’s house. I notice a shadow from the window in the house next door. The little boy was running to the door and screaming. Seconds later the woman appears and smiles almost looking relived. She grabs a book and smacks it on the window. This is the first time I see her up close. Her face looks exhausted and tired almost as if she had just come out of a deep memory. Her brown hair was long and messy, but that was fair considering I’m sure she’d been working all day. Her eyes were a deep hazel. It was then that I noticed that she was staring at me. Great I was caught. Now she probably thinks I’m some sort of creeper. I wave, why I’ll never know. She smiled and tucks her hair behind her right ear. Then the boy joins her. He waves and I wave back. The woman then beckons him to the bed closing the shades behind her. Yeah I would’ve done the same thing.

The fire wood is in the same place it’s been since I was a kid. I take seven logs and head to the pit my mom and I had built with bricks into the sandy beaches years ago. It had been covered with a black tarp to prevent the sand from getting in. I pull off the tarp and the pit looks brand new. I throw the logs in and add some lighter fluid. I use the flint stones in the pit to get the fire going. It takes several minutes to get the fire going, but Aunt Kathy comes out just in time.

“I brought the dessert and some disposable plates,” Aunt Kathy says. She hands me a plate and a box of graham crackers. I open it as she opens the chocolate and the marshmallows.

“Here take a stick,” she hand me me of the pokers. I put on a marshmallow and break a graham cracker in half. I put some chocolate on both sides and then start the roasting process.

“Who’s that?” Aunt Kathy asks. I turn to find her gaze. The woman is outside on the shore staring out at the sea holding a necklace in her hand. She throws it as far as she can. After throwing the necklace she smiles looking relieved. She’s far from us, but it’s easy to read her face. She stares at the lighthouse on our property and then her gaze falls on the fire. She smiles like she remembers something. She waves and walks back to her house.

“The new girl,” I say. Aunt Kathy is quiet a moment.

“Oh my God how could I be so stupid of course! That’s Amy! The Robertson’s grand daughter. She used to visit almost every summer when they were alive I’m surprised you don’t remember her,” Aunt Kathy says. The name didn’t ring a bell and the woman looked like a stranger to me.

“No idea what you’re talking about but ok,” I say. Aunt Kathy rolls her eyes.

“Of course you don’t. You don’t have much of any kind of memory with that anxiety medicine.” she jokes. I actually manage a laugh.

“Well we can’t all get cancer,” I counter. Aunt Kathy hoots a laugh.

“Hun if you couldn’t handle the Coast Guard there’s no way in hell God would ever think you could brave cancer I think that would defeat you,” she teases.

“Well I admit defeat master,” I say laughing. It’s another thing I love about Aunt Kathy. Around her it’s not how do you feel all the time it’s a joke that we can both use. We eat about five s’mores each just laughing and joking before chemo takes its toll on Aunt Kathy’s energy. She throws the plates in the fire. They ignite immediately. She then takes the rest of the stuff back inside with her.

“Don’t stay out too late,” she says. I nod as she turns and walks back into the house. I stand up and head to the shoreline. I stand gazing at the ocean letting the waves hit my feet and just breathing. Something hits my foot. I look down. It’s the silver necklace the woman, Amy, next door had thrown. She had to have known it would come back. I pick it up and realize its a locket. I open it and a note falls out.

“Hey mom and dad, we’re here at mi-maws and pa-paws. Love you both. -Amy Hi Mom and Dad! I miss you and Iove you! -Ian”

The boy, Ian’s, handwriting is barely legible. He must be around eight or nine I think. I take the locket and tuck the note back inside before doing so I notice an A and an I recently scraped on the inside. It makes me smile. I’d never have guessed that the woman was taking care of her little brother or that her parents were dead. I close the locket and wonder to God why He would have our paths intertwine like this. Was I supposed to return it, no it was to be out at sea.

I took the locket and tied it around my wrist and started swimming. My white shirt and khaki shorts soaked. I had nothing on me so it didn’t matter. Once I was a good distance out I throw the locket. It flies far. The tide won’t be brining it back anytime soon. I swim back to shore and walk up to the house. The fire is almost gone now and there’s a towel hanging outside with a fresh gray coastguard shirt and some pj pants looks like Aunt Kathy had been watching. I loved that crazy woman. After hanging a towel behind me to block any late night walkers on the beach I get undressed completely putting on the pants first and leaving the shirt outside with my wet clothes. It’s pointless soaking another one with my nightly sweats from the dream. Just before I go inside I catch the flicker of a light turning off next door. A lot of questions start to form in my head, but for now it’s time for some serious pillow face.

Amy 3:

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 23:23:24 -0500

As I stepped into Ian’s room I saw him pointing at the wall by the window. There was a tiny little spider crawling up towards the ceiling. Ian’s face was filled with terror. I grabbed a nearby book and smacked the spider making a funny sound effect. I turned to Ian showing him the dead creature stating “I AM the bug MASTER!”

He giggled at me and as I turned back to the window I saw a figure from the house next door. It was a man with dark brown hair that was cut short. His body was built; I guess he knew how to take care of himself. He looked startled by the fact that I caught him looking this direction. To be honest I was startled as well. Looking embarrassed he waved at me, I figured since he was my neighbor I should wave back. As I did Ian questioned on who I was waving too. I told him our neighbor and motioned for him to come to the window. Ian waved spastically to the man across the way and was happy to see a new individual. He loves people and his personality was so caring that it always flooded over to me. His bubbliness infected everyone around him. “I want to meet him” Ian said.

“Someday, I’m sure you will” I replied. “Now to bed”

“Can we tell mom and dad that we’re here?” Ian asked. “I want to write to them”

I had once told him that if he wrote to our parents and sent it out in the water the Angels would see it, pick it up, and give it to our parents. It helped him cope, but I also told him he had a direct line through prayer. We did that as well on a nightly basis.

“Here hun, write whatever you want on this paper and I’ll slip it into the locket. The Angels will be sure to see it because it’s shiny” I said as I got out some paper and a pen from his back pack.

So I wrote a quick little note to start off the letter and then handed it over to my brother. I scribbled fast. Hey mom and dad, we’re here at mi-maws and pa-paws. Love you both. I then handed it over to my brother. Then I slipped the note into the locket and snapped it shut.

“Now to go to bed.” I told him. I kissed him goodnight on the cheek and walked down stairs and out the back door.

I shuffled down to the shore and let the sand squish between my toes. The waves were bursting harder tonight than I remembered. It was still beautiful and calming though. With a quick prayer to my parents, I smiled picturing them dancing in Heaven together; I tossed the locket into the ocean as far as I could. There, May whoever finds it be blessed and find comfort I thought to myself.

It was just after that I realized there was a fire going on the house next door out back. It was a very nice quaint fire that was warm and inviting. The neighbors that used to live there used to have fires all the time. They were beautiful spectacular sights of flames dancing in the dark night and I always wanted to go over there and enjoy it with them. I wonder if the same lady lived there or if it was just a coincidence. I don’t remember the lady ever having a man living with her.

Just then I realized that I was slightly staring and smiled quickly and waved to the people enjoying their time. It was definitely time to go to bed since I kept having all these memories and flash backs. Usually I don’t have these many and I was getting tired of it fast.

Once inside I got all of my things together to get ready for bed. Teeth brushed, hair brushed, and a quick shower. Luckily there was still a couch downstairs that was fairly new when my grandparents got it. I pulled the white sheet covering it off and grabbed my nearby blanket and pillow I brought with me. Finally I checked all the doors to make sure they were locked, and checked up on Ian. Yep, he was sound asleep, good.

I took one final look outside before closing the curtains. The man from earlier was out swimming off the shoreline. Swimming at night was always relaxing, I just hope with that current he knew what he was doing. Then I shut the blinds around the house. This was going to be good for us. I just couldn’t wait until the rest of the stuff got here; beds are way more comfortable than couches. I took a quick sip of water from my water glass, turned off the light, and slipped under my blankets. Sleep sounded amazing and it came upon me like a speeding train. Thank goodness. I smiled as I succumbed into unconsciousness.

Tristan 4:

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 23:22:42 -0500

“Whoa it was never my intention to brag to steal it all away from you now, but God does it feels so good…” I slide the screen turning my alarm off. Haleigh William’s voice stops instantly. It’s nine in the morning already and I’m still exhausted. I hadn’t been up too late last night. I mean I finished another three chapters in book three of The Solar War series…I guess I was up for a while. I put my phone down and almost instantly the ringtone of The Script signing “Breakeven” comes on. I look at the caller ID and stare at the picture of the caller. INCOMING CALL: JOSH PEREZ-ARIAGO.

“Hey man!” I answer the phone.

“Tristan Vandt well I’ll be dammed. That’s what you Americans say right?” Josh’s voice sounds just like it did just back when we were in training.

“Yes it’s what us Americans say idiot,” I say. He laughs.

“Hey good news! I’ll be passing through a little city in north carolina today on my way home, any chance you’d want to grab a beer?”

“Really through Newport? Hell yeah we have lots to catch up on,” I answer.

“Awesome I’m about to leave Beaufort-Morehead airport and I’m going to head home first so I’d say you have some time. How’s twelve?,” he says.

“Twelve sounds good, I’ll go ahead and get ready,” I say.

“Sounds good bro, see you soon,” and he hangs up. I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t seen anyone from the Coast Guard in months. I was excited about seeing Josh.

“Tristan what is with all the yelling up there are you ok?” Aunt Kathy is in the library calling up.

“Yeah I’m going out at noon with a friend from training,” I answer. There’s a brief silence, but as I knew it would aunt Kathy’s curiosity takes over.

“Who?” I smirk at how predictable she can be sometimes.

“Josh,” I answer.

“Oh the Mexican boy you stood next to at your graduation up in Kodiak right?” she asks.

“That’s the one,” I answer. Aunt Kathy has the best memory of anyone I know.

“Alright well I’ll be driving myself to chemo then?” she hollers up. I always forget to check my schedule.

“No I’ll call him back,” I answer swearing under my breath.

“That may have sounded like a question but it wasn’t,” she responds.

“Mom would kill me if she ever found out and what if something happens?” I ask.

“Tristan?” she says.

“Yes?” I call back.

“Take a damn Klonopin already,” she laughs.

“You jerk,” I laugh back.

“You better be careful, or I’m selling all of your cars,” I say.

“Good luck with that one,” she says her voice fading as she leaves the library. I love my Aunt Kathy. She’s the mother I always wanted. My phone buzzes again. INCOMING CALL: ANGIE VANDT.

“Mom?” I whisper as I pick up the phone debating wether or not I want to answer it.

“Hello?” I answer.

“Hey sweety I just wanted to check up on you and see how you were doing?” the voice on the other end is soft and delicate but firm at the same time.

“You mean since two days ago?” I never intend to be a smart ass with her but it happens.

“Call me a mother sorry to bother you,” and just like the snapping of a stick the voice is toxic and filled with some sort of rage. The phone beeps three times meaning she’s hung up. I don’t know where everything went wrong with her, but it did. Our fall through was the day I told her I was joining the Coast Guard.

“You’re an idiot! You’re all I have after your no for good father got his one night of fun,” she is fuming over the acceptance letter.

“Yeah my good for nothing father, the one you don’t even remember the name of, that’s comforting,” I counter.

“Tristan Josiah Vandt you watch your God damn mouth. I’ve put up with your bs for eighteen years don’t you dare pull that ungrateful tone out,” she says. I could hate her, I could resent her, but I don’t she’s my mother after all.

“You know just once I thought I’d get an I’m so proud of you Tristan, but how foolish of me,” I say. I left that night after my mom went to sleep. Headed for the first flight to Kodiak, Alaska.

A knock on the front door.

“Tristan can you get that I’m about to get in the shower,” Aunt Kathy screams.

“Yep,” I answer. I walk down out of the library and down to the front door. Still just in pj pants but I figured it was probably just some UPS or FedEx guy. I open the door and my face turns red.

“Hey…hi….wow…I can go grab a shirt I thought it was just some package guy. Wow this is embarrassing,” I say. It’s the girl from next door. She looks equally embarrassed.

“No I’m sorry it’s early your house is just the closest,” she says.

“How did you even get past the gate,” I ask.

“There’s a hole in the side fence half way down…you know what that’s not why I’m here,” she says looking down at the front porch.

“Why are you here?” I ask and almost immediately regret it. Wow way to be nice Tristan I think. She looks embarrassed and begins speaking.

“Oh umm well my name is Amy and my little brother Ian and I just moved in next door and our stuff is coming on a moving truck, and well they’re lost, and I’m new here, and well I don’t really know how to, well I wouldn’t know how to get them here, and I know it’s early and I’m really sorry but I was, well maybe just hoping you could help some. They won’t take directions over the phone only an escort,” she spoke so fast I could tell she was a nervous wreck.

“Where are they?” I ask.

“The intersection of Ball Farm Road and 101,” she whispers.

“Don’t be so nervous when you ask for favors, makes me not want to do it. Like you’re trying to kill me or something,” I answer. She smiles reluctantly.

“Trust me I’d want your name before I tried to kill you,” she says her tone much more confident than before. I manage a laugh.

“It’s Tristan and Amy you probably couldn’t kill a fly,” I joke. She laughs. She has a cute laugh it’s quiet almost intoxicating.

“Well Tristan can you help?” she asks. She looks up into my eyes. Her eyes remind me of Jaquiline. I drop my gaze.

“Yeah I have some time to spare, have somewhere to be at noon but I’ll get them here,” I say. It’s a guilt trap I’m praying will work.

“Ian said you might try to guilt trap me into doing it, if you didn’t want to all I needed was a no,” she smirks.

“Well you know what they say the youth can read people better than the elder,” I respond.

“Haha. No kidding,” Amy says. She has a killer smile.

“Let me grab a shirt and a my keys I’ll meet up with them go ahead and give them a call,” I say and turn to close the door.

“Tristan there’s one more thing,” Amy says. I look at her.

“Well…Ian was sort of wondering if he could ride with you, he knows you have a jeep and he, well Dad always promised one day,” she trails off.

“No worries have him come over I’ll be ready in three minutes.”

“Thanks Tristan I owe you one,” she says.

“We’ll I’m going out later with a friend to a bar you’re more than welcome to come,” I can’t believe it just slipped out.

“Thanks, but I’m not much of a drinker,” Amy says.

“Amy,” I say and she looks into my eyes again.

“Yeah?”

“I never said you had to drink,” I counter.

“Well there’s no one to watch Ian, and I just don’t know,” she says.

“You know if you didn’t want to that’s all you had to say,” I smile. She thanks me again and heads back over to get Ian.

I’m ready to go with the Jeep pulled out in five minutes. Ian walks up with Amy just as Aunt Kathy comes outside.

“Amy Robertson I’ll be damned to see you on this side of town again after all these years,” Aunt Kathy says. Amy looks surprised.

“I thought it was you Kathy!” she runs up and hugs my aunt. Like I said Aunt Kathy has an impressive memory.

“Last time I saw you I think you were Ian’s height and asking for some of my famous cheesecake,” she laughs.

“Well you better get your apron out because I may need some of the cheesecake when the movers get here,” she jokes.

“Well Ian and Tristan should be gone for at least fifteen minutes,” Aunt Kathy says.

“Well I don’t have anything else to do guess you could use some help making a cheesecake,” Amy offers.

“Yes dear come inside, I have chemo at one thirty and it’s nine ten now so let’s get moving,” she grabs Amy and pulls her inside.

“Bye Ian!” Amy screams. Ian climbs into the passenger seat of the jeep his expression like that of kid who just got an air drop of his favorite candy.

“So Ian I’m Tristan, I heard you like jeeps,” I say. Ian looks up at me. His brown hair is long and he has cerulean blue eyes.

“Your car is epic, I can’t believe Amy let me go,” Ian says. I smile.

“Over protective?” I ask. He looks outside the car towards the ocean as we turn onto Mill Creek Road.

“I’m all she has, and that’s a lot of pressure for a eight year old,” he answers.

“You know something Ian it gets easier. The feeling of carrying someone it goes away and soon you’ll realize all those years you were the one being carried,” I say.

“Maybe one day I’ll understand that,” he says laughing. I laugh with him.

“So what do you want to be when you grow up?” I ask him. I’m assuming he is going to say something like a doctor or a teacher.

“A rescue person in the coast guard,” he says looking out the side of the jeep. I slam on the brakes and pull to the side. The breath completely knocked out of me.

“Ian how do you even know what rescue swimmers are?” I ask breathing hard.

“Tristan are you ok?” he asks.

“Answer the question,” I say lightly. He doesn’t answer at first.

“The day my parents died, well there was a helicopter crash and I remember at the hospital onee of the rescuers told me something, ‘Salvar a los que puedas, y orar por los que no puedas.’ It was Spanish for save the ones you can, and pray for the ones you can’t. He told me he’d be praying next. I knew he was telling meI that our parents probably weren’t going to make it, he even told Amy when they finally calmed her down that he was sorry and that he would pray every day, and since that day all I want is to save people who think there’s no hope,” Ian said. Tears forming in his eyes.

Again my stomach clenches as I recognize the saying it’s what Josh tells every family member of the people he rescues, but that’s weird because they would never send coast guard to a mountain range, he must’ve been picking up volunteer hours in search and rescue.

“You’re one brave kid Ian, but as a former rescue swimmer it’s not an easy life,” I say. Ian looks at me amazed.

“You were a rescue swimmer, what made you want to do that?” he asks. I pushed the gas and got the car going.

“Another time kid I promise,” I say. He looks at me suspiciously and then turns his attention back outside the side of the jeep.

“For what it’s worth my dad always told me one death on a person’s hand is nothing compared to a death in the hands of a hero, and Tristan if you’re a hero then you shouldn’t focus on the people who got away because there are people out there who owe you their life.” This kid was incredible.

“A Hero’s hands are tainted from the beginning Ian, no one tells you that when you join so just know that,” I tell him.

“No a Hero’s hands are human and to error is human. Most heroes forget that,” he says. I laugh.

“You’re a pretty cool kid Ian,” I said.

“So I’ve been told,” he smiles.

“There they are,” I say pointing to the moving truck with the two drivers outside holding a map.

“Let’s get them to your house,” I say.

“For a hero you’re pretty cool too Tristan,” he says and jumps out to greet the movers. Punk I think and join him.

Amy 4:

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 23:22:20 -0500

I stepped into the house. It seemed quite different since the last time I had been over here. Although I was taking in everything around me my mind kept spinning about what Tristan had asked me. Was he asking me on a date? Odd for the first time ever meeting someone, but I was thankful that he was willing to help me out with the movers and allow Ian to go with him. He’s a smart kid and adventurous. Ian just needed more men in his life to bond with. Maybe it wasn’t a date, maybe he was asking sort of as an I help you, you help me sort of thing.

“Amy, will you get the crème cheese out of the refrigerator for me?” Kathy’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Oh… yeah! No problem” I said. “So how have you been?”

“I’m good, well besides the cancer but hey everyone is gonna die eventually one day. At least I’ll have an exciting story to tell or the strength to beat it!” Kathy proclaimed strongly. “But Tristan has been helping out a lot and I appreciate him being here. He drives me to Chemo, helps around the house, and basically is an Angel sent from Heaven”.

“Yeah I noticed. Who is he exactly?” I questioned.

“Oh, dear yes. I’m sorry.” She replied “You probably don’t remember him, or never met him. Tristan is my Nephew. His mom sent him out here when she heard that I had cancer. Plus they weren’t really getting along either because of certain issues. So now it’s him and I. He used to be in the Coast Guard. That’s why he’s in such great shape. He’s also Single!” Kathy winked at me “He’s quite a catch Amy. I’m sure you noticed that. But then again that’s probably none of my business. I don’t even know if you’re on the market still. Although, I assume you are because I don’t see a ring on that finger. So why are you back here sweetie? I figured after your grandparents passing your parents would eventually have sold the place.”

“haha, no you’re right I’m flying solo on the dating front, but I’m okay with that for the time being. And um… the other part of that…” I hesitated. “My parents passed away in a horrible accident near 6 months ago. I won’t go into detail about it but let’s just say no matter who has to go through that sort of situation it’s difficult. Ian and I were just having a hard time adapting to things back home and that environment just reminded us of them every time we turned around. I figured that since I had always had such a great time here, this would be the place to start fresh. My parents had kept it up for me and so I sold the old place in Colorado and here we are.”

“Honey, I’m so sorry to hear that.” She reciprocated. “That’s got to be rough”

“It is, but I’m more worried about Ian than myself. I just hope I can raise him well enough and find him a good mentor”.

“Well, the way your grandparents helped raise you I’m sure Ian will turn into a fine young gentleman. If you need anything Tristan and I will be here for you”.

“Thank you, that means a lot to me. So let’s make this cheesecake!” I exclaimed.

About thirty minutes later we had the cake setting in the freezer and Tristan and Ian pulled up with the movers in tow.

“Do you mind giving us a hand with the big things?” I asked Tristan.

“Will you come to the bar with me?” He questioned again while smirking at me. Man, he sure had persistence.

“Maybe, let’s just see how well you can unload this truck. I don’t want to be the new girl in town out with the town sissy.” I joked back

“Sissy? Oh you better watch it ma’am.” He said as he walked towards the truck to help the other movers.

Ma’am. I hated that phrase. I’m 21 years old. I’m not your mother, I’m not a 40 year old house wife. Yeah I know it’s a sign of respect but when certain people use it, it gives the complete opposite meaning. Disrespect.

As I helped unload the truck and dictated where everything went the process finished very smoothly and quickly. Ian was also a big help. He knew how to unpack things fast. It was funny to see him interact with the three other men that were moving the gigantic furniture pieces. I don’t know what exactly had happened in the car, but he and Tristan seemed to act like best friends. It was quite cute actually. I looked out the window from the upstairs bedroom onto the front lawn and saw Tristan throw Ian up on his shoulders and carry him around. Ian put his arms out like a plane and zoomed around. That smile. Gosh I had missed that smile. It has been so long, and I couldn’t believe someone had put it back on Ian’s face. Tristan seemed to bond so well with him.

“Amy!” Ian ran up to me. “Tristan is so cool! He’s going to take me fishing and sailing, and teach me how to swim!”

“Well, I hope he does the latter before the prior two.” I glared uneasily at Tristan.

“But of course General Robertson!” Tristan saluted.

“Look Amy he does that too!” Ian laughed.

Irritated that Ian had apparently told Tristan something about our little game, it was pretty funny. And it made Ian laugh, so whatever.

I paid the movers after the last items were removed from the truck and they took off down the road.

“Now then, do you still think I’m a sissy?” Tristan teased.

“No, you have proven your worth. I guess I’ll come. I need to get out anyways and explore the town a little bit.” I replied. “But I can’t take Ian to a bar. He doesn’t need to be in that type of environment”.

“It’s not really that kind of a bar at that time of day, but I think Aunt Kathy would be more than happy to watch him. Aunt Kathy?” Tristan yelled as we walked back through the door into their house.

“Yes hun?”

“Let’s just say if I wanted to go out, and if Amy were to come with, would you perhaps be willing to watch Ian for us?”

“US? Since when are y’all an us?” Kathy giggled out. My eyes widened and stomach knotted.

“You know what I mean” Tristan hollered back.

“Yeah, if he’s okay with it I am.”

“It’s settled then. Meet you outside at 11:30.” Tristan stated as he showed me to the door.

I walked back to the house. This may not be such a bad idea after all. Tristan was pretty good looking, and I like men that are aggressive and know what they want. Suddenly I tripped on a tree root and stumbled, luckily I didn’t fall flat on my face. Turning bright red I turned around to see if anyone had seen that embarrassing moment. GREAT. I saw Tristan glancing out the window watching me, trying to stifle his laughter. Fantastic.